Diary of a Network Geek

Okay, so, once again, my thoughts are scattered, and my links are, too.

First, there's a link to an article on Australian IT that makes me glad I don't live in Singapre when I was teaching my parents about bandwidth theft. Apparently, a nosy neighbor turned a kid in and now, he's been sentenced for stealing another neighbor's wifi bandwidth. Kind of harsh, but, then it is Singapore, so he's probably lucky he didn't get caned!

Here's two that are sort of related. At least, they both rot your brain.
First there's the gross one. Did you all hear about the "brain worms" found in South Texas? Apparently, these nasty, little buggers, if you'll pardon the pun, get into your brain via improperly stored and prepared food, then, they eat their way out.
The other brain-rot story was one that surprised even this jaded cynic: pot-laced snack products. Yeah, no joke. They're illegal as all hell, but some guy was apparently selling these cannibis-infused "look-alike" snacks. Crazy stuff.

And, finally, since I finished paying the bills right before I typed this in, from the Get-Rich Slowly blog, Money Making Hobbies (from 1938). The dream is always to get that hobby that not only pays for itself, but makes a little extra, too. Sadly, based on the suggestions from this book, the only way to make money with a "hobby" is to write and sell this kind of book!

Anyway, that's all I've got in me this week. It's been another long, busy one, so, enjoy your Friday Fun Links!

"Is there any chemistry?"

I was asked that question this weekend in reference to the nice, Chinese girl, S., from Match.com. I was telling J. and L. about my first date with her, and my second date Friday, which went well, by the way. I've graduated from handshakes to hugs. I also apparently rated her real name, which, it turns out, has nothing to do with the letter "S" at all! That was just a name she used on Match to stay safe. Smart girl.

In any case, we went out to dinner again last Friday. Interestingly enough, I think I'd eaten in that restaurant before. It's a place called Thai Gourmet. (Notice a theme to our dining?) I got there just a few minutes before her and, gentleman that I am, rose to greet her when she came through the door. As last time, we had a good meal and better conversation. I did notice, though, that the more comfortable she seems with me, the thicker her accent gets. I found that sort of interesting. I also found it interesting that she volunteered to pay for half of dinner. I didn't let her, mainly because she took me by surprise, but also, Thai restaurants are usually pretty inexpensive.
Then we went to a Starbucks off Westheimer where I let her buy me a chai latte. And we talked some more. She's an interesting girl, that's for sure. Turns out she's probably less than a year away from getting her greencard. After that, she ought to be able to travel fairly easily so she can go back to Shanghai and see her family.
She asked me a funny sort of question, though. Again, since she caught me by surprise, I probably was a little more honest than I'd have been given some time to think about it. She asked me how important I thought looks were. Now, I probably should have hesitated and thought about it, but, being me, I didn't.
"What's more important to me," I told her, "is how someone treats me. Don't get me wrong, looks are important, but not as important as the way someone treats me." And, after a moment's pause, I added, "I suppose I think about that a bit more since the divorce, but being pretty on the outside doesn't matter much or for long if someone is ugly on the inside." From her reaction, I'd say she like that answer.

So, as we're gathering everyone for dinner after church, I'm updating J. and L. about my two dates. I emphasized how nice S. is and how intelligent and easy to talk to. And, L. asks that question,"Is there any chemistry?"
Naturally, I ignored the question and just kept on talking about, well, anything but the answer to that question, frankly. She asked me twice more before catching on that I was just going to ignore the question. Though, I have to admit, I was mulling an answer over in my head. It went something like this...

Chemistry is over-rated. Chemistry led me to an unhappy marriage and a painful divorce. Chemistry had me chasing every "pretty on the outside, ugly on the inside" woman I ever ran into that gave me a second glance. Chemistry is what damn near ruined my life and draws me like a stupid moth to a white-hot chemical fire.
If I were to follow this chemistry business, I'd chase after the receptionist at work who's Drama Quotient is off the scale. In the name of this chemistry nonsense, I'd batter what was left of myself against the giant monolith of a hopeless cause.
No thanks. This time, I'm going to ignore the damn chemistry and do the smart thing. The "chemistry" will follow, if everything else works, too.

I told J. as much Sunday afternoon. He agreed that it was the smarter thing to do, but then he tried to tell me how important chemistry was to a long-term relationship. I think I managed to keep a straight face.
The truth is, there is a bit of chemistry there with S. It's not the white-hot, searing burn of an over-heated crucible that will burn my fingerprints off, but, it's there enough to make it all work. If we work at it.
Only time will tell.

So, this is one of those posts that I started a long, long time ago and never finished.

Then, I sort of merged it with a couple of other ones until I have this mish-mash of thought and links that make almost no sense until I edit the bejeezus out of it. So, I started with this:

Looking for a watering hole in Houston?
Well, according to CitySearch, these are the best.

Then, I tried to link to the best coffeehouses in Houston, but that link went away, so instead, I'll link to the CitySearch "Best Of Houston" page.

Okay, not my usual Friday Fun link, but I've been thinking about this, since I'm going out on a second date tonight.  Wish me luck and vote in the poll on the right~!

So, I've been writing a bit of Perl again...

It's kind of a long story that's really rather boring, I think, but we're changing e-mail providers at work again. They've got a new system to try and reduce spam that involves a challenge-response system and a whitelist.
For those not familiar, it works like this: The first time you send an e-mail to their servers, the anti-spam system fires back a verification e-mail to you. That e-mail verifies that you're a human and not a spambot by asking you to click on a link. When you click the link, it adds you to the system's whitelist and lets your e-mail through from then on. Pretty good system, actually. And, about the only way to assure virtually no spam gets through.

Well, to minimize hassle to our customers, we decided to pregenerate a whitelist of known, good e-mails. Naturally, that task fell to yours truly.
So, I turned to my old pal Perl. The mail is mostly stored in a UNIX mail format called "mbox", which, luckily for me, is basically a flat file. It's like a giant text file that has a lot of extra junk in it that no one but mail programs care about. So, the first thing I did was dig up code, and modifiy it, to pull all the e-mail addresses out of those mbox files. I called it "emailpull.pl". That managed to pull all kinds of addresses. In fact, after I culled out the obviously bad address and eliminated the duplicates, I had a little over 4000 addresses.
Well, that was just a little too many for me to just dump into a whitelist without some kind of extra verification. So, I hunted around and found a handy CPAN module called "Mail::CheckUser" which is meant, you guessed it, to help check e-mail users. A little finagling with the code and I put together "emailverify.pl". That little badboy takes a list of e-mail address, in text file form, and verifies them with the alleged e-mail host. Works like a charm!

Oh, and if you're a Perl fan/addict/whatever, check the links to the code. They take you to a place called PerlMonks.org. They used to be the place to get code and help and, well, everything Perl related. But, you know, lately? Not so much. When I was there putting these two snippets of code up, there was a whole big bruhaha going on about membership to some internal, super-secret cabal group. And, there's a lot of focus on getting levels and all sorts of junk like that. Which is ironic, to me, considering that Larry Wall, the guy who wrote Perl, did so in the hopes it would draw people together in harmony and spirit of helpfulness.
Ah, well, at least I got my task accomplished. Well, at least it will be by morning. That second script was still running when I left the office.

Update: That second script, when it was done running, reduced 4060 e-mail addresses down to 3255 validated e-mail addresses. Hopefully, it culled all the potential spam originators!

So, I think I've driven off most my readers now.

Between my work schedule, the holidays and this damn crud that just won't go away, I haven't had a lot of time or energy for blogging. I do feel a little guilty, though. I know some of you do still read and my normally regular posts have been erratic at best and filled with little of my usual fare.
Well, get ready. Here comes an update...

Okay, my last excuse for not writing more is getting old, fast. I have been sick since before Christmas. It started as a head cold, or sinus infection, and moved South into my chest. Mainly, it just makes me unbearably tired all the time and gives me this terrible sounding death-rattle of a chest cough. My mother, naturally, is quite concerned. I told her that I would go to a doctor if things didn't start improving, but I haven't been to a doctor in years, so I don't really have a regular doctor to get to down here. On the other hand, my mother is in Chicago, so what can she do besides scold me? Besides, at the moment, I have at least five women asking after my health.

First is L., J. the Groom With Cold Feet's fiance. She was quite concerned Saturday night when she heard my cough. I honestly was waiting for her to cluck over me and tell me to get to a doctor. But, all I got was the worried look and an extra helping of concern.
Then, after dinner, the cute, red-headed Federal Probation Officer gave me a parting "Feel better" with a lot of direct eye contact and expanded pupils. That sort of caught me by surprise, really. I didn't think she'd noticed me hardly at all, much less enough to exchange even that level of pleasantry.
Before that, when we were still at church, waiting in line for communion, K., J.'s former fiance, walks by. I'm standing behind J.'s brother, who's developmentally challenged. Naturally, he sees K. and shouts her name, so she suddenly finds herself drawn into a conversation I think she was hoping to avoid. Turns out, he hasn't seen her since she and J. broke up, so, naturally, having fewer social inhibitions than the rest of us, he asks her what happened. To her credit, she handled it with grace and said, simply, "Well, things just didn't work out." Then, of course, she has to stop and give me a hug hello before making a break for it. Sunday, I sent her an e-mail to check on her. My heart really goes out to her. She went from the failed relationship with J. to another engagement that also didn't work out. Only with the second one, they'd set a date and started moving in to her house. Anyway, I asked her how she was doing and gave her some general cheering-on, but when I signed off, I apparently mentioned that I was going to take some Theraflu and crash. In her response, she asked after my health. (That's three, in case you've been counting.)

Now, I'm going to get even more out of chronological order.
Last week, I got a little tired of C., the receptionist, not returning phone calls or e-mails. Not at work, mind, but personal communication. I figure I'm worth at least the same consideration that a professional contact would be, but that's not what's been happening. So, I dropped her an e-mail asking if that's what she was tryng to tell me, and if it was, just come out and say it. I understand her worrying about how I would react at the office, since I recognize that not everyone deals with that sort of thing well, but I assured her it would not effect our professional relationship at all. I didn't get a response. So, I just stopped calling or e-mail or anything else.
For the past month or so, I could be counted on to call at least once over the weekend and leave a voice-mail. Probably in the same amount of time, I might have sent one or two e-mails. But, this weekend? Nothing. Then, Monday, I was my normal, cordial self, but I didn't go out of my way to make conversation with her. When she asked me for help with the mp3 player her daughter got for Christmas, I helped her, but didn't make any other small talk. She noticed.
Later in the day, she stopped at the copier outside my office and made copies, then asked me if everything was okay. I shrugged and told her that I guessed so. She told me I was quiet. I reminded her that it was because I was sick. She seemed surprised. I laughed at her a little because I can't imagine anyone missing my hacking cough for the past three weeks. She gave me a little "get well" wish and slipped off back to the reception area.
We'll see how things unfold there.

The last woman who's concerned about my health, besides my mother, is S., the nice Chinese lady I met on Match.com
We had a good date Thursday.  A quiet, little Thai place called Thai Corner.  It's right at the edge of Chinatown and right next to a big asian grocery.  So, naturally, I ended up getting there way early and waiting a bit.  I'm pretty sure I was the only non-asian for a couple miles in any direction.  But, that's okay, I'm used to not quite fitting in.  It was a nice, quiet evening that started and ended with a handshake.  Which is just fine, considering the hair-raising pace my last relationship took!  She has her undergrad in Biology and her Masters in Computer Science, both from Rice.  And her conversation showed that she was on the ball.  After dinner, she asked if I would come with her while she did her shopping at the store next door.  Naturally, I went with her.  When I walked her badk to her car, I asked if I could call her on the weekend.  She told me yes, so I planned to call Saturday.
Well, Friday, I got an e-mail from her telling me what a good time she had and thanking me for dinner.  So I replied back and set my sights on calling Sunday, which was a better day timewise anyway.
When I got her on the phone, she said, "Oh, Jim, I'm glad you called.  I'm really glad you called."  And, naturally, she asked if I was feeling any better.  Sadly, I'm still not.

But, that's not going to keep me from going out with her again Friday.

No, the date last night didn't go that well!

Even though things did go well last night, I was actually thinking of J., the Groom with Cold Feet, and his erstwhile bride. This really just seems right up their alley for some reason. Naturally, I'm talking about the Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Weddings.

No, seriously, it's not a joke! Well, okay, it is a joke, sort of, but these things really can happen at a wedding. And, after what these two have already been through, I'm thinking anything that smooths the way is probably a good thing to have on hand.  Besides, when I read the adverstising copy, I just sort of pictured how this whole wedding might go wrong... "Wedding dress torn? Ring lost? Cake collapsed? Groom gone missing? Despite all the planning, the happy couple might not actually be prepared for The Big Day and all that can go awry." See what I mean?  Of course, giving it to them as a wedding gift would be a little too late.  Well, maybe they'll have a bridal shower I can sneak it into.

Anyway, in the mean time, why not check out what the Snopes Urban Legends Reference Page has to say about weddings?  It's pretty funny, even if all the links aren't quite safe for work.

Happy Friday everyone!

So, I've been a little quiet lately...

I suppose it's natural, considering how busy the holidays always are, and how sick I've been and the family emergencies and all. Still, I feel a little guilty not keeping up with the blog.

First, let me thank everyone who sent warm holiday wishes and condolences about my uncle's passing. I was very glad I went up for the funeral, even though I don't particularly care for them. For one thing, I had no idea how much it would mean to my cousins, one of which I haven't seen in close to 20 years. It was a little bizarre to see her "little" kids all grown up and talking about college or post-graduate work.
And, I know that me being there meant a lot to my father. He was very close to his older brother and I know he was really feeling the loss, even if he couldn't say so out loud. I love my father dearly, but he certainly is where I learned to suppress my emotions. But, in any case, I was glad to be there to lend support to the mourners, though, I have to admit, it was a new and different experience to help lifting and loading my uncle's coffin into the hearse after the funeral. There wasn't a graveside service, since he was being cremated, so no funeral procession or need for formal pallbearers. Still, it was... Well, a bit strange to find myself doing that, performing that last familial service for a deceased relative. Honestly, I was honored to be able to do so.

My family has always had an unusual relationship with death. For one thing, we're fairly religious and, though our individual beliefs may differ, we all believe in an existence beyond this one. I'm not sure any of us are willing to commit to what that might look like, but, I think, we all believe that the end of this life isn't the end of all things. Certainly, that's what I believe and the message I got from our parents. I'm not quite willing to embrace a particular view of heaven or hell or purgatory or limbo or nirvana or whatever, but I feel strongly that something goes on beyond our short time here.
Combine that with my father's work with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross on death and dying and, well, my views on that whole process are, I think, I little different than what some folks might expect. It's a process, a step, a thing that happens. And, of course, I'm sure it will be all different when it's my brother, or father or other close relative who leaves this world.

But, life goes on.
So, I have a date. Thursday night at 7:30PM, with a nice Chinese girl I met on Match.com. She's been in the States since 1997, has a Masters in Computer Science from Rice and seems, as I've mentioned, quite nice. At least, from the few e-mails and one phone-call, she seems nice. Her English is almost perfect. Just a trace of an accent. Just enough to make her sound a little exotic and interesting on the phone. She's pretty cute, too, from her picture.
We're meeting for dinner at a Thai restaurant in what my ABC friend calls the "new, safer" Chinatown. Well, actually it's right at the edge of the "new" Chinatown. You know what fascinates me, though? I had no idea that Houston had one Chinatown, much less two. What have I been doing all this time that I missed that?
Anyway, I'll be glad to find a new Thai restaurant and just get out a little. Though, I have to admit, as always, I'm worried about that first date. Kiss or no kiss? Hug only? Shake hands? That always stymies me. I guess I'll just play it by ear and hope for the best. (Though advice on that topic is always welcome!)

And C., at work, has been as confusing as ever.
She had a big blowup with her BF of 9 months or so while I was away. Apparently, he was just pushing too hard and smothering her and... Well, from what she said, he made the classic mistake that all men make in that situation, even me. As we feel our heart's desire slipping away, we try to hold on tighter and end up squeezing our chances right through our fingers.
So, I talked with her a bit and it was good, but... I don't know. There's something there, but what I have no idea. I sense a certain amount of interest, obviously, or I wouldn't keep coming back to it. But... But, I keep getting mixed signals from her. My friend, J., the Groom with Cold Feet, reminded me what I was like right after my divorce, even though we'd been separated for more than a year. So, I think I can understand some of what she's going through. I like her. I really, really like her. And, I'd like to get to know her better, but I keep getting signals that she wants me to back off, possibly all the way off. So, I think that's what I'm going to do, more or less. No phone calls, no e-mails, nothing more than polite, professional conversation at work. At least, for a while.
Bedsides, I have at least the one girl from Match.com and another possibility, also from Match.com.

Or, I could just shave my head and join a monastery. That'd work, too.

Recycling old fun links.

Last year, two pretty ladies I knew on-line were having a rough time of it, so, to make them smile, I programmed up the New Year's Resolution Generator. I based it, in part, on some ideas from the Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays, but I have to admit, I threw in some of my own warped sense of humor. And, I weighted things a little more toward heavier drinking and looser morals. Hey, a guy can dream!

In any case, it was apparently funny enough that Comedy Central Insider linked it in their blog. Which is pretty cool, no matter how you slice it.
So, even though I'm travelling on last minute family business, you can still whip up a wacky New Year's Resolution while I'm gone. Hope you all have a better day than I expect to!

So, you may have noticed that I haven't posted anything since before Christmas.

Well, there's a reason. I had actually planned to post something Christmas Day, but, well, I sort of lost heart. You see, my uncle, my father's older brother, past away Christmas Eve. I got the call first thing Monday, Christmas Morning. It sort of put a damper on all the other stuff going on. I'll be flying home tomorrow, thanks to very generous bereavement rates, for the funeral. The vet was all booked up, but I got a friend to let the dog out and make sure she's got food and water, not that I expect her to really eat while I'm away. She's funny like that.

It's depressing, of course, to go to funerals. Though, mainly, funerals don't bother me. I'm much more put off by mourners. I'm a little socially awkward to begin with and nothing's quite so awkward as either trying to comfort someone who's just lost their spouse or parent. At least, to me.
You see, I grew up with the idea of death. We talked about it at the dinner table. My grandmother, my father's mother, lived with us from the time I can remember until she died, which was when I was still in college. She was quite comfortable talking about funeral arrangements for herself and all the related details. My father was one of the people with the AMA who coordinated the case work that went into the now famous On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. It's not talked about much these days, but most of her raw data came from hospital chaplains and, apparently, that was something my father was involved with back then. One of my earliest memories is being told not to hang on the edge of the casket when I was trying to see my Great-Great-Grandpa Grosh, who died at the age of 99, when I was just a little, little kid. So, death in and of itself doesn't bother me much at all. It's just a part of life.
But, all the other stuff that goes along with death gets to me.

And, I have to admit, it occurred to me that, one day, perhaps soon, I'd be making a similar trip to bury one or both of my parents. That idea did not sit well with me at all. Apparently, even with all the childhood hours spent in and around funeral parlors and hospitals, I had managed to repress the idea that they'd be suffling off this mortal coil eventually.  This, though, brought it all home.  And, it makes my father the eldest living Hoffman.

In any case, that's where I'll be Friday and through New Year's Eve.  Well, actually, I'll be flying back into Houston New Year's Eve, but I'm quite sure I won't be celebrating at all.  Then, after things settle down a bit, I'll get in touch with the girl from Match.com with whom I broke a date Tuesday because, frankly, with all this, I wasn't going to be very good company.  She was sweet, though, and I look forward to meeting her in person, eventually.  Since she was born in China, I suspect I'll be getting to know some new haunts with her, especially in our Chinatown.  Hey, I didn't even know that Houston had a Chinatown!

Oh, and another bit of good news: The groom with cold feet, J., who will be watching my dog, has been talking to L., his once and future fiance.  And, she's already taken the ring back.  They're going slower this time, though, which I think is probably a good thing for both of them.  Still, I'm very happy that these two are back together.  Crazy as they both might be sometimes, they're still perfect for each other.

Well, I'll queue a Friday Fun Link post, but I won't be active on-line until I get back Sunday night.  Enjoy the weekend.

What, you thought I'd do something else today?

Naturally, with Christmas just around the corner, I've got a couple last minute Christmas ideas for you.  First, there's the eWeek IT Stocking Stuffer Guide.  To be fair, not every computer geek is into all the stuff on this list, but, still, you're more likely to get a hit than not.  Mainly, as long as you stay away from the 10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time, you should be okay, but, well, even some of those are cool for the danger factor involved.  (And the nostalgia factor, since I actually had some of those toys as a kid!)

But, if all the gift-giving has broken your Christmas spirit, read Bill Murray's Dinner with Santa Claus.   It's sure to bring a smile to your face, which, if you're trying to survive your First Holiday in a new relationship, can be important!
And, if all else fails, there is actually proof that drinking, in moderation, is healthy for you.  So, drink up a little Christmas cheer, and have a great one!  Christmas, that is.