Diary of a Network Geek

Lord, what a boring title.
Hmm, come to think of it, it's not a very exciting update, either. Anyway...
I got the last of my replacement server parts in Monday, got them in place and the bad stuff out again today. Oh, wait, I'm not sure I've mentioned that fiasco... Okay, so early last week I got all my server parts in except for my 1 Terabyte drive array, which got lost in shipping. That arrived Friday, but had the wrong cables. So, Friday, I decided to setup what I could anyway, and discovered that the keyboard and integrated trackball was bad. After a series of calls to Dell, they finally ship me the entire monitor/keyboard/rack-tray subsystem, because "that's just how they come". Those arrive Monday afternoon. I get them changed out and, basically, give up doing anything useful for the day.
Oh, yeah, the whole time, in between trying to get all the hardware worked out, I'm trying to talk a guy in Louisiana through setting up a "new" computer with an old hard drive. I say "trying" because apparently, this guy couldn't read the damn screen to tell me what was going on. He kept asking me, "Uh, what'd I do next?" to which I almost always replied, "I don't know, what does the screen SAY!?" And, apparently, it was so painfully funny that the engineer on the other side of the cubicle wall from me regaled his fellow engineers with the tale, much to their amusement. And, really, the guy in Louisiana was being pretty stupid. Everything he needed to know was right on the screen. But, I digress...
Then, yesterday, it takes me half the day just to figure out why the install can't find any disk drives. Apparently, while hooking up the drive array, I some how wiped out the config on the two disks in the server itself. I have no idea how, but, wiped they were. And, since figuring that out, I have banged my head against the same module failing to install and configure correctly. Sadly, it's the main security database the server uses to track everything. (For those in the know, it's failing on the eDirectory/NDS/LDAP install and config. The modules are there, but the damn thing simply refuses to install a new NDS tree.) So, it's kind of key to the whole reason we bought Novell's Open Enterprise Server, instead of just running on Linux. This was not helped, I might add, by the fact that I was not smoking or that the boss stopped by to make clever comments about why I hadn't figured the damn thing out yet, either.
I have an e-mail in to Novell to try and get some answers. We'll see how it goes.

As for the other stuff, that messy, sloppy junk I call a personal life, well, it's just not really going. Not unless you count the Prayer Team meeting last night and the grocery store tonight. So, since I won't be managing to do my conversion this weekend, either, I'll head back to the River Oaks Borders in search of True Love Friday night. I figure I'll give it one more shot on Fridays, then take a week off to lick my wounds and convert my server, and try another night. Suggestions anyone?
Oh, and you'll notice in deference to the start of my Troubles with Dating posts, I've added a new category, named in honor of my new favorite consolation at the Border's coffee shop, Bavarian Death Cake of Love. So, if y'all are around, look for me. I'll be the guy in glasses with a goatee, probably trying hard not to look like a stalker, and eating Bavarian Death Cake with a side of Italian Fascism. If you talk to me sweet, I might even buy you a slice! (Not you, boys. You're on your own.)

Howdy, y'all!
I've been told that the Houston Chronicle has linked to my blog. I don't know if I should expect issues with the site as a result, but, if the server doesn't crash, welcome. Please, comment profusely and read obsessively. Note that your e-mail addresses are kept private, except, of course, from me and every comment is moderated, so they may take some time hitting the site.

Thanks for stopping by!

Damn, I could really use a cigarette.
So, the other day, I'm talking with my therapist and he points out an interesting "coincidence". The women who appreciate me most are all pretty well unavailable. Damn if he's not right. Let me break it down.
First, there are the married women. Mostly, the unhappily married women, or at least married women who seem to be missing something in their marriage that I seem to have, or so they think. Maybe it's the fact that I'm in touch with my feelings and can actually express them. Maybe it's that I'm not obsessed with sports or some other distracting hobby, other than blogging, of course. Maybe it's just that I pay attention to them, while their partners, who see them every day, don't. Maybe it's just that they don't know me.
Damn, I could really use a cigarette.
Then, of course, there are the divorced women. Sure, they're available, but, they either have no time for me or they fall into the next demographic group. Again, I think all the same things apply from the first. The divorced women who find me interesting, I think, must see in me everything that their ex-husbands were not. At least, I hope that's it and, hey, it's a working theory until one of them straightens me out, right?
Damn, I could really use a cigarette.
Next, there are all the nice, young, attractive women in distant lands. Anywhere from Oklahoma to New York to Denver to the Phillipines to Japan. Anywhere, in short, that's too damn far to drive to from Houston. Now, really, I did not start this blog almost six years ago looking to "hook up", okay? I started the whole thing as a marketing ploy to boost my ranking in Google. It worked, too. But, along the way, I got married, then divorced, and found myself with a largely female readership. At the time, I thought it was great. A lovely turn of events. Turns out, not so much. So many of the most interesting women were all, well, rather unreachable. Not out of my league, or anything so narrow-minded or self-limiting as all that, but out of my reach geographically. Yeah, great. So, the girls in far off places think I "look fine" and write well and have interesting hobbies or whatever. That's great, but I don't exactlly get to the Phillipines for coffee, you know?
Damn, I could really use a cigarette.
And, really, this is not for lack of trying here, kids. I have tried to find someone local. Really. Stepped way, way, way outside my comfort zone to ask out ladies from on-line. Tried the Bookstore Method more than once, but with similar results. Even looked around at church, but, as I told someone via e-mail, I "love the Lord" and everything, but, well, I don't think I want to double-date with Him, you know? I'm sure that whole "water-to-wine" trick is great at parties, but, crown of thorns sort of puts people off. Anyway, it just seems to me like the more available a woman is, the less interested she is in me.
So, anyone care to tell me where I'm making my mistakes? What am I doing wrong here?

Damn, I could really use a cigarette.

So, I spent my evening at the River Oaks Borders Books trying to pick up women.
It did not go well at all. Oh, it started well enough. I wandered around the store and found several books and magazines, but not much in the way of women, or at least, what seemed like single women. I mean, it went like sort of like this in my head:
Oh, she's interesting.... And with her boyfriend or husband. Nice.
Oh, that one looks nice.... And she's here with her mother! Doh! Say her mother's not bad.... And there's her husband. Great.
So I walked upstairs to the coffee shop and that's when things took a terrible turn for the worse, if you can imagine that.
"I'll have a medium of the Italian Roast and, um, a slice of that Bavarian Chocolate Cheesecake."
"Ah, the cake of death."
"'Scuse me?"
"Oh, it's just that it tastes like genocide." Then the little, pseudo-beatnik laughed like I should get the joke.
"Not exactly the best way to sell this stuff, you know?" And, I laughed, because, well, c'mon. Genocide? I know it's Bavarian and all, but, uh, that's just ridiculous.
"Hey, we make it right here!"
"Yeah, dude, that's not helping any." Things did not improve from here.
So, I sat down with my little slice of Bavarian genocide and a steaming cup of Italian Fascism to browse my books and magazines to try and weed out what to buy and what to leave on the table for beatnik boy to clean up. Petty, I know, but, hey, I quit smoking last week, so, cut me some slack. One that went instantly into the Keep pile was The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex. And, yes, the irony of finding that while totally failing at picking up women was not lost on me. I'm sure God was laughing when I picked it up. At least, someone was laughing. About the time I finished my death cake, an interesting lady was walking around the music section. At first, I thought she was someone I was familiar with from the blogoshpere. And, trust me on this, that's a very, very good thing. As Cartman would say, "Hella hottie". So, she wanders through and I keep an eye out for her to go introduce myself and, well, wing it. Honestly, it's just now that I realized I had no where to go after "Hi, my name is Jim and..." Anyway, she starts to head down stairs and I start the same direction, right up until the point that she catches my eye, gets that panicked look and hurries away toward the far end of the store. Yeah, so... At this point, I've suddenly become a stalker if I follow her, so I head to the checkout line with my stuff and ask for the book I special ordered, Novell Open Enterprise Server Administrator's Handbook, SUSE LINUX Edition. (Hey, look at the title of the blog, folks. This is what I do!) Only the girl can't find it and asks the guy for help. He looks at me and says, "Oh, here this is him. I know his name. He's a regular and special orders books from us all the time." First I'm a stalker, now I'm a serial special orderer to the point that the staff know me by freaking NAME. Yeah, the book store is going to be a great place to meet women. Sure, right, great idea.
Right about this time I get the urge to turn around, you know, like someone is looking at me or something. Sure enough, there she is the girl I was going to introduce myself to is back there looking right at me, almost staring, while I checkout. Perfect. Wonderful. Shoot me now, please. Thanks.
So, then I'm driving home up 610 to 290 and listening to Brian Setzer Orchestra, The Ultimate Collection: Recorded Live, which is actually pretty hopping and has me driving a little fast. Of course, the Italian roast helped, too. And, I'm accelerating through traffic and it's a little close, but I'm all hopped up on disappointment, chocolate and better than average coffee, so I put my V-8 engine with the police transmission on it to the test and slip through a tight gap in traffic. Now, considering some of the things that happened earlier in the week, you'd think I'd be driving more carefully, not less, but, no, that's just not me.
Oh, and I should mention that work was, well, a little frustrating today, too. So, yeah, a little built up stress, just like the old days.

Man, I could use a smoke. Oh, right, I gave that up. Well, at least I still have the good Scotch. 'Scuse me while I go self-medicate a bit and catch some sleep. I know it's been more than ten years since I did this stuff, but, man, getting that first date sure seems hard these days. I think I'll pour me a double.

The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, second edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick Up Lines: Part 2
11. You had me at "Hello World."
10. Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
9. You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.
8. By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
7. Jedi Mind Trick: "This is the geek you're looking for." *waves hand*
6. You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
5. Have you ever googled yourself?
4. How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
3. With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
2. What's a girl like you doing in a place like this when there's a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.
1. I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.

The Science of Breath is online!
I've talked about this book before, both on-line and off. It's very, very hard to find in print anymore, so when I found it on the web, I was really excited. It does seem to have been reprinted under the title "The Hindu Yogi Science of Breath: A Complete Manual of the Oriental Breathing Philosophy of Physical, Mental, Psychic and Spiritual Development", but I can't tell you if there have been revisions or not. The one on-line is the original one that I actually have and use. Now, as you can tell from the rather lengthy title of the second, reprint, edition, this is a Yogic discipline. All life flows from breath, they say, and this book helps you maximize both, breath and life. I find the exercises quite calming and relaxing, which, in my high-stress line of work, has come in handy more than once. Not to mention all the Yogi breathing I was doing during my over-extended divorce. In fact, anyone who's going through that or about to go through that kind of thing could do worse than to start practicing the breathing exercises now, before the tension really starts to rise.
Anyway, I've reccomended this book to several people in the past and thought I'd post a link to it so they can find it for free. Hopefully, it will help. Enjoy!

For data disasters, not hurricanes and such.
Although, I suppose one could result in the other. Still, the article on TechRepublic is about a system for categorizing systems disasters. Five levels to help you decide appropriate responses, ending in total loss that might result from, of course, hurricanes and the like. Yes, as much as I'd like to ignore them, they are a very genuine concern here in the Gulf Coast. And, now, in this brief "off-season", is when people who manage data should be planning for them. Now. Not two days before they hit. Or, a day after. Plan now for data loss due to hackers, or virus infections, or failing hardware. Not after the loss of data. The article is a good start on what to think about when planning.
Now, I have to go find the rest of my server so I can start ignoreing all that.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the blogosphere....
Some of you may remember my reader warning from November, when my ex-wife was following me to other blogs and leaving strange comments there, as messages to, well, to someone. Guess what, folks? Yeah, she's still out there and still obsessive-compulsive, apparently. In the past week, I got e-mail from two or three people who asked about my ex-wife, her location and her IP address. Yes, as far as I know, she's still in Phoenix, Arizona, or thereabouts. Yes, if you have an IP address from that area that seems to, well, show up a lot in your logs, that's probably her. Now, she seems to be concealing her IP address at my website, or I haven't been looking for her in my logs very hard, or both, but she doesn't seem to be smart enough to do that on the other blogs she's haunting. Honestly, considering that our divorce was final five months ago, you'd think she'd be able to let go by now, wouldn't you? I can't imagine what she's interested in with me anymore. I haven't been to her blog in months, but she seems to still be very interested in mine. And, sadly, in people who comment on my blog, so, well, be warned that if you do comment on this blog, she will most likely follow you to your blog and, possibly, comment. Until she does, comment that is, just enjoy the extra hits. Feel free to contact me for more details. If you'd like, leave a comment marked PRIVATE: and I won't let it roll live to the blog.

Again, sorry about this, but, well, these things happen. At least you know now. What a world...
Update: Well, thanks to my intrepid readers, I have more details on the strange goings on. Apparently, the IP address is associated with her new husband's company. To limit any potential liability, I choose not to reveal the name or IP address publicly, but will provide the information on request. So, now, I'm not sure which of them is more obsessive-compulsive and can't let go. Or, which is the worst option. Again, my apologies to anyone who's been adversely effected by this strangeness.

I just had my last cigarette.
I sat outside with a cup of coffee and smoked my last cigarette just now. I'm about to leave and get my hair cut, for which I am woefully overdue, and I'll stop on the way to get gum. Lots and lots of gum, to help me curb the oral craving for a smoke. (That's item number two on my list of Resolutions, BTW.) Considering the amount of work I'm about to immerse myself into with the server install and conversion, it might not be the best week to stop smoking, but, well, I have to stop sometime.
Last night, I ran out with some friends to a noodle shop that I haven't tried before. Of course, that meant I over-ate. Again. I always do that in noodle shops, which is going to make Resolution Number Nine a bit more challengeing, but, still, it was good. So, I won't eat lunch today to make up for it. Tonight, I'll head out to dinner with folks from church, since I've paid all my bills and still have money in my pocket.
Tomorrow morning, I'll do my Driver's Safety course via OnDemand, thanks to WheelsInMotion. While all that's going on, I'm also doing laundry. And, actually, I have a load in right now.
Oh, I also went to Borders last night. I picked up a couple of books my head-shrink reccomended to me, to be added to the ever growing pile of Books To Be Read. As well as getting a book I ordered on Syraic. (That's a language related to Aramaic, which is probably the language that Jesus spoke. Probably.) Not to mention a couple of magazines on Linux, including one that had a wall chart of handy Linux commands and Open SuSE install CDs. I love that OpenSource stuff! And, I got a couple of CDs, too. Three from the "Local Talent" section, which I'll review when I listen to them, a collection from The Brian Setzer Orchestra and one from some folks called "Bowling for Soup", just because they seemed interesting!
Well, I have a lot to do yet today, so, off I go!

Considering what I'm working on this week, it seemed appropriate.
Windows NT had its time. It was good at what it did. It had its place. That place was the early 90's, not in the twenty-first century. So, while I get ready to gut this server setup I've been saddled with and replace it with a shiny, new Linux-based Novell server, contemplate this: Windows Neanderthal Edition.
It's funny. Laugh. Laugh, damn you, laugh!

Oh, who am I kidding? Go out and have a drink tonight, it's Friday! Then, laugh.
Update: Next week, more Geek Pickup Lines!