Diary of a Network Geek

Yes, already.
First, I weighed myself this morning and I have sixteen pounds to lose, not just ten.
Second, I've added two resolutions to my list.

Now, for the more interesting updates. I got to church last night and discovered that one of the ladies I met at the New Year's Eve party had not, in fact, left the state yet. Sadly, it was a bit too late, I thought, to do anything about that. However, in pursuit of resolutions three and fourteen, I called the hostess of said party and told her how I'd wished I'd known that the lady in question had still been around. I also paid her an indirect compliment, via said hostess. I told her she had beautiful eyes. Eyes that made me want to say something witty and brilliant and charming so she'd look at me with her clear, blue, beautiful eyes. It was, apparently, well recieved. Wish I'd had the courage to pay the compliment in person, but, well, one step at a time. And, sadly, the blue-eyed lovely does still leave the state this month, for at least a year. Always a bridesmaid and never a groom... Or, something like that.
And, I opened my last pack of cigarettes this morning. When I smoke the last one, I'll post that, too.
Now, I have to go iron and start working on the one room that has the majority of my ex-wife's junk in it. (Which is resolution fifteen.)

Oh, yeah, don't forget to vote on which watch, okay?

A funny thing happened in the drug store.
So, I made a run to Walgreens today, to get some stuff I forgot last night. Mousse and Carmex and, since I saw it, a digital scale with that body-fat calculator thing built in. If I'm going to make all my New Year's resolutions happen, I'm going to need that. Anyway, one of the quirky things I do is walk through the magazine aisle and check to see what the average Gulf Coast Walgreens customer is reading these days. I especially like looking at the "Best Seller" rack to see what trashy paperbacks are popular with what I think of as the "least common denominator" of the reading community. Freakishly, what I found today was Gone With the Nerd. This is not a joke. This is an actual book that actually sells somewhere to someone. What's more, it's part of a series. Yeah, your eyes are not playing tricks on you, there is a series of books about nerd romance. In fact, go to the link above and read the reviews. Pay special attention to the one that's titled "Nerd Served Hot & Spicy".
So, what? Is the "nerd" the new, hot romantic hero? If so, how is it that I've missed this startling phenomena? As a Geek, do I qualify? Is there a form to fill out somewhere? A waiver to sign? In short, what's a guy gotta' do to capitalize on this exciting new trend?

Okay, all joking aside, this struck me as both funny and, well, okay, pretty much it was just funny to me. I was called a nerd most of my school life. At the time, it was kind of hard to take, but, after a while, I just stopped caring. Oh, sure, I still have those moments when I question who and what I am. Whether or not I'm "man" enough. What's missing from my life, or what I should be doing to fulfill my "role" as a male in society. Well, here's the thing, I've done it and continue to do it. Every day I go into the office and work a job I don't get too excited about anymore because it pays the bills, I show that I'm man "enough". Every time I hold a door for a woman I don't know and will never know, I'm being a grown-up man. Every time I try to explain to my nephews to always treat girls nice, no matter how they treat you, I'm showing the world that I'm the kind of man I want to be.
I stopped going to strip clubs just before I met my ex-wife, not because I'd met someone I didn't want to embarass, but because of that poor girl who was looking to me for validation after dancing for me. All she wanted wast to be loved, to feel appreciated, and all I did was tip her. Pretty low, isn't it? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. So, this geek, this nerd, stopped going because I didn't want to see a woman who wanted that kind of validation. What's more, I didn't want to be the kind of guy who had to go to those places to get validation for cash myself. Better to be alone and know that I was living my life the right way and be able to look myself in the mirror than that. I'm still working on looking myself in the mirror and believing that I'm good enough, but, at least I'm closer than I was.
Yeah, I'm a geek or a nerd or whatever you want to label me. But, I'm more than that, too. Maybe I could be doing better financially than I am. Maybe my job could be more interesting or exciting. Maybe I could be driving a bigger, better car or have a bigger, fancier house. Maybe my clothes aren't lined with designer labels or aren't imported from Italy or where ever is fashionable this season. Sure, there are others who are doing that stuff better than I do. But, I'm fairly literate. I'm loyal to a fault. I'm fairly healthy and working on being healthier. I'm rebuilding my spiritual life. I take good care of my dog and try to help my friends any way I can. And, I care. I care about people. People I know and people I don't. I don't know what I am, exactlly, but I'm working on making myself better everyday. And, whatever that is, it's good enough for me.

Attention:If you are not a professional geek, the following announcements may bore you to tears!
Right, now that it's just us boys, let's get down to brass tacks. First, there's that pesky Windows Meta File vulnerability. It's been patched. At least, according to this article on AustralianIT, the overlords at Redmond have stepped outside their rigid, lockstep patch routine to address this vulnerability. All I can say is "About time!" Though, this has been a known problem since November, kids. The only difference now is that the media got ahold of this during a slow news week. The vulnerability wasn't as big a deal as most news sources were making it.
Second, according to Groklaw, SCO has asked to amend their complaint against Novell. Why? Well, the evidence points quite clearly to the fact that Novell hasn't violated a copyright, but SCO's revenue model is such that they have to sue someone for something. So, toward that end, they want to change their suit to, essentially, a breach of contract against Novell. All I can say is, why has this been allowed to go on this long? Someone spank McBride and make him apologize for being an ass then let's just drop this and move along with the rest of the industry. M'kay?

Finally, this is a little more personal. For years, I've been hearing about how the mythical "web services" concept is going to save us all tons of work and money. For just as long, I've been saying that it's not going to work. It's slow, resource intensive and damn hard to implement. Folks, trust me on this, I've been with companies that have tried this again and again. It's a great idea on paper, but it just 'aint gonna' work. Now, it seems like people are finally starting to come around. At least, if I've read this ad for a TechRepublic webcast on this topic correctly. Why doesn't anyone listen to me?

Well, I feel better now. Please, resume your Friday and enjoy your weekend.

No, I don't remember how I found this.
These "Happy Bunny" deals are the funniest, scariest, coolest thing since Hello, Kitty!
(Oh, just take the quiz.)
Here's mine:
it worries me how dumb you are.
Who's Your Happy Bunny? brought to you by Quizilla

Have a better Friday!

I need a new watch.
Should I get the Casio Waveceptor? Or the Timex?
I can't decide, but I know for sure my old, beat-up super cheapo Casio needs to be replaced. The light doesn't work and silver-like finish is flaking off. It works still, in that it tells reasonable accurate time, but it just looks bad. When I was married, frankly, I stopped caring what I looked like. What I wore on my wrist, or feet, or whatever, didn't matter to me as much as making sure my family had the things they needed. Note, I wrote needed, not wanted. My ex wanted all kinds of things, but I was more concerned with making sure her daughter had enough to eat and decent clothes for school. I did without a lot of things to make sure those two got what they needed, and, as much as I could, what they wanted, too. So, the end result is that I have a bunch of stuff that needs to be replaced, updated or simply purchased for the first time. A couple of months ago, it was shoes. Now, it's the watch.
It may seem like a small thing, but it's hard for me to spend even that little bit of money on myself. When I finally do, I'll feel guilty for days. Silly, isn't it? Well, keep in mind, this post is hitting while I'm in session with a head-shrink to help get over silly things like that.
One step at a time, I guess.
Anyway, you can vote on which watch in the poll to the right.

Oh, God, this is a new low.
So, the other day, I'm joking with a friend about obsessively checking my webstats for certain pieces of information. He sort of laughs at me in e-mail and questions why I haven't done a PERL script to automate it. And, I did actually think about it. The problem would be, as I explained to him, that I'd have to run the PERL script as a daemon, or process. Or, as a CRON job that repeated every fifteen minutes or so. Otherwise, I wouldn't get the kind of notification that would make writing a script worthwhile. The only problem is, even my super relaxed webhost, Amzia.net, would eventually have issues with that kind of utilization.
In any case, I scouted around for some PERL code anyway, even though I'd probably never be able to actually use them. Then, one morning this past week, it occurred to me that I had PHP code that I could modify to produce the same results. So, I copied my chunk of code, tested it and put it out there, live. Worked like a charm. I got live results and e-mailed them to my friend and we had a good laugh that I'd gone and written code, that worked quite well, for a very personal, inside joke, that no one but he and I would see, or get. But, no, that's not the new low.
Later, on the same day I made it live, I was sitting outside enjoying one of my last remaining clove cigarettes and caught myself refining the code in my head. Yep, I'm sitting there, petting the dog, smoking and tightening code in my head. I even started to add functionality as I crunched the code, too!

Oh, God, I am such a geek. I don't even think another tattoo would help at this point. Oh, well, at least it pays the bills.

I'm sure most of you know this already.
However, I have a lot of less technical readers here lately who might not have quite as many subscriptions to security mailing lists as I do, so, I thought I'd post a quick warning. There is a significant security hole in all but the absolute most recent version of Blackberry server, and possibly even there, too. Apparently, if someone sends you a specially crafted TIFF or PNG graphic file and you read it with your Blackberry, the attacker can compromise your Blackberry server. By compromise, I mean download and run executables on it. As in, so long and thanks for all the financial data you might have stored on any Windows-based server. Yeah, it could be that bad, due, in part, to the way Windows handles security and the level of access that the Blackberry server wants to that Windows network. So, all you Blackberry readers out there, including you Mystery Reader, be careful with attachments until your IT staff gets the upgrade done! (And, go ahead, bug them about this. Don't be put off by their scowls and catcalls and rude hand gestures. Network Geeks love to get these little interruptions in our day!)

Yeah, so I've had this thought bouncing around.
Sometimes, I get these stray, random thoughts that ricochet all over my poor, little head until they find their way out. This time, though, before the seed of a thought could sprout into a full-blown idea, Jill, of "Jill Writes", wrote this lovely note to her friend, who obviously was having some issues with men. If you haven't read it yet, go. Pay attention to the comments, and not just because I wrote one. Really, this one explains a lot. So, go ahead. Read and learn, kids. I know my head-shrink's been trying to tell me this for months, but I had to verify that information independantly before I'd believe it.
Now, I'm trying to think of who it is I need to call. And why....

Here's a weekend recap for those who're paying attention.
Actually, I guess it's a bit more than that, but, well, most of it happened this weekend. So, Paddy Thai closed on Friday. I was there for one last meal. I actually made it in twice in the past two weeks, but Friday night was the most significant visit. You see, this was the first restaurant I ate in when I first started coming to Houston, almost eleven years ago. My now ex-wife took me in there on my first visit. We sat in one corner and watched a gecko hunt by candle light on the far wall. We were the only people there. It was tre romantic. It became our place. We celebrated anniversaries there and birthdays. Sometimes it was where we went to make up or sooth some of the pain of the world. At least once we used it as a bit of a misplaced bribe. And, mostly, it was about happy memories. Happy memories that were tainted by how our relationship ended. So, I went back a couple times, not to erase the old memories, but to have a few new ones that might color the old. That last night it felt rather like selecting a last meal.
The people who own the building are going to pave it to make more parking for the restaurants on either side.

At the party Saturday night, my beer bread was quite a hit. In spite of, or perhaps because of, the fact that I was there mainly for my testosterone, I had fun. I knew a few of the people there, obviously, but not all. Sadly, the two red-headed ladies I met were both leaving the state this week. In fact the artificial red-head was leaving the country. Usually, it takes a much longer acquaintance with me to drive someone from the state. Still, I had a good time and was "on". I dressed conservatively, in jeans and a soft, dark, button-down shirt. I was comfortable, which was my only real goal. Most importantly, to me, I didn't mention my ex-wife all night long. Though, I did mention having been married. I believe in truth in advertising, after all.
Of course, I had visions of collecting phone numbers and dates, but that was not to be. Still, I was funny. The other day, Doc told me that I should think about lasik surgery to get my glasses out of the way. When I asked why, he told me it was because I had eyes that could make some women melt. Luckily, I am firmly confident in my heterosexuality or I might have gotten a little nervous. So, I did my best to make good, nice eye contact. No attempts at smoldering looks or anything so dangerous as that. I'm afraid that I've slipped past that magic age where such things are sexy, at least coming from me. Still, the hostess, who's dating a friend of mine, made a point to mention to him that she thought I was funny. I must have been really on target Saturday.
At first, I was dissapointed that I was funny, instead of sexy. But, then I thought about what it is I want from life and a relationship and it occurred to me that funny is better. Sexy fades with time and age, but funny can last forever. And, after how grim my marriage got, especially at the end, I'd rather be able to make my partner laugh. What's better than the gift of laughter? The world can be a dark, cold, nasty place and I'd rather leave laughter in my wake than a string of broken hearts. I'd rather be able to make my next wife laugh and fill her life with joy and laughter.
Yep, all things considered, I'd rather be funny.

Sometimes, we just have to get offline.
No, that's not some kind of freaky metaphor for life or anything like that. It's true. I live a lot of my inner life right here on my blog, but, sometimes, I need to step away from the computer and record private thoughts on nice, safe paper. If you like what you read here, my journals could really excite you.
I bring this up because I saw something the other day that really excited me: the Five Year Journal. It's a simple idea, really, just an open format journal that gives you space to record just a few sentences about your day, for every day of the year, for five years. And, I have to admit, as wordy as I get both on-line and off, forcing myself to condense things to a couple of sentences or phrases could be an excellent exercise. Like writing a haiku, but the haiku of my life.
Anyway, thought I'd share this with the few folks who read my little blog. You can get it at Amazon: The 5 Year Journal.