Diary of a Network Geek

I cannot calculate the physics of Santa.

Seriously, I love science, but there’s just no way for a guy like me to do the math required to keep track of Santa Claus on his path around the world on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, the US Government will do it for you, so, as I have done more than once in the past at this time of year, I’m sharing some good, clean fun for the whole family, brought to you by your hard-earned tax dollars.
During the Cold War, NORAD stood between us and what we were sure was complete destruction at the hands of the Soviets. What with the recent tensions vis-a-vis Russia and China and North Korea, NORAD may find itself busier than ever in the coming year, but, until then, thankfully, they can fall back on my favorite tradition; tracking Santa. It started with a wrong number and an accidental connection, but a gentle soul in a high-pressure job spread a little Christmas cheer once a long, long time ago. The story got around and before you can say "Who's violating my air space?", everyone was misappropriating government resources to make kids happy. Before long, it was fully sanction and, if I say so myself, an entirely proper use of my tax dollars. In any case, now, whether you're young or old, or whether you have children or not, you can have fun tracking Santa with the Official NORAD Santa Tracker!
And, since the holiday is nearly upon us and I don't plan on posting again this weekend, have a very merry Christmas!

This post originally appeared on Use Your Words!  And, yes, it's basically one I repeat every year.

At least once a year, I try to write about Friday the Thirteenth.

Mostly, because it's an easy post to make, since I copy a lot of the information from previous posts, but also, while other people seem to find it unlucky, I don't. At least, I don't find it any less lucky than any other Friday on any other date. If anything, I find myself feeling luckier than normal when everyone else seems to be feeling less lucky, hence the title of this blog post.
Besides, when I get stuck for topics, as I sometimes do, this is an easy enough post to whip together again.

Back in the old days, before the internet or Google or smart phones we use to answer every passing question, I used to assume that Friday the Thirteenth was considered unlucky due to some Biblical association, like since Judas was effectively the Thirteenth Apostle or some other Apocalypse-related numerology that I hadn't bothered to dig into before. I don't think it's a big stretch, really, since so many superstitions seem to tie back to some obscure custom related to religion. But, I've since found out that nothing could be further from the truth. Apparently, Friday the Thirteenth is considered unlucky because of its association with the plot to suppress the Knights Templar, according to this article on GlobalPsychics.com. No, seriously! And, I quote:

The modern basis for the Friday the 13th superstition stems from Friday October the 13th, 1307. On this date, the Pope of the church in Rome in Conjunction with the King of France, carried out a secret death warrant against "the Knights Templar". The Templars were terminated as heretics, never again to hold the power that they had held for so long. There Grand Master, Jacques DeMolay, was arrested and before he was killed, was tortured and crucified. A Black Friday indeed!

So, there you have it, Friday the Thirteenth is a global conspiracy, though, for a nice twist, the Knights Templar or Freemasons aren't behind it, but, rather, the victims of it! Which I appreciate, incidentally, because I am both a Freemason and, via another Masonic body, a Knight Templar, ironically. Although, to be fair, that same web page I link to there also goes into the fact that 13 is generally considered unlucky due to the number of people at the Last Supper being, you guessed it, thirteen. But, aside from the number, which is considered unlucky in a lot of ways, it's the association with the suppression of the Templars, which happened on a Friday, that makes the day unlucky historically.

Personally, as I already mentioned, I usually have better luck on Friday the Thirteenth, but, then, I always have been a little out of step with the world. Besides, I don't think of myself as a very superstitious person, so I generally don't buy into most of this nonsense.
Oh, and if you're not buying the Templar story, here's a link to some alternate ideas why everyone else is afraid of Friday the Thirteenth.

This post "originally" appeared on Use Your Words, but, honestly, it's been pretty recycled because how many different times can you say the same basic thing about Friday the Thirteenth?

So, it seems I've survived another year.

Considering that I wasn't entirely sure I'd live past forty, it's a pleasant surprise to find that I've turned fifty-one. It seems a bit less pressure than turning fifty. I thought things would start speeding up, but it feels like everything has slowed down a bit. I don't feel like a lot has changed in the past year, really.
Really, I've had another pretty good year. In some ways, maybe a bit too good. I was disappointed to see that all the weight I lost at the beginning of this year has somehow returned. I think, as was true last year, this is mostly due to easy living and a wonderfully Southern wife who shows me how much she loves me with food. She really, really loves me, so I've eaten very well. After having to finally let Hilda go to the Great Big Yard On The Other Side this year, we got two new rescues. For a bit, that was helping because I was walking Penny, the sixty-pound Pittbull/Dalmatian mix every morning. Sadly, she seems to have torn her ACL and is going to need a surgery, so I haven't been walking her. I should take her sister, Lily, the fifty-pound Black Lab mix for walks, but I just haven't quite been able to get my sorry tuckus out of bed in time to make that happen yet. I'll get on it soon, though. Honest.
Of course, being married to Sharon does make my time here easier and a lot more pleasant. That sounds a little luke-warm, but, honestly, I think we're both pretty happy about having a quiet, pleasant life together. As we were reminiscing not too long ago, we've both led a life of far too much adventure and chaos to think we're missing out on much. Maybe, one day soon, when the statute of limitations runs out of some of those things, I'll share them with you. Or, maybe they'll get saved for a memoir. Sharon keeps telling me that we've living very interesting lives, though, of course, I find myself to be a bit dull and boring. Thankfully, she does not. It's one of her many, many charming and attractive features. Her business, The Organizing Decorator, is poised to do quite well this coming year, and I'm incredibly proud of her and her work. I've known people who constantly complain about never having been given a chance, but Sharon really goes out and seems to create opportunities out of thin air. She's a miracle and I'm truly blessed to be married to her.
It is a bit strange to find myself being so fiscally responsible these days. Again, I suppose age and commitment have their unexpected upsides. I want to make sure that she's taken care of, at least, even if we don't expect to leave much after we're gone.
Otherwise, I wish I'd spent less time complaining this year and more time working for change in all aspects of my life. I still have dreams of writing more and taking more photographs. I'm sure if I really am committed to that this year, I'll find a way to make the time. Maybe that's one secret of making it to middle age; I don't buy as many excuses, not even my own. So, watch this space! Hold me to account, dear readers, if anyone out there is still reading this blog.

In the past, I've listed the same group of celebrities who share my birthday. But, this year, I'll only mention two, because they're the only ones I currently care about. I'm shocked to realize that I'm a mere two years older than Jennifer Connelly, who was born on this day. She's lovely and I'd watch her read the phone book. The other celebrity who shares my birthday is Frank "Chairman of the Board" Sinatra. And, just like me, he did it his way.

Also, I think it's interesting to note that on this day in 1896 Marconi first demoed radio and, again on this day, in 1901 made his first Trans-Atlantic transmission. (Though, of course, all right-thinking people know that Tesla was really responsible for those first advances in radio.)

So, that's the state of me, as it were, this year. Some things I'm happier about than others, but, all in all, it's been a pretty good year. I've just about given up trying to figure out what the coming year will bring, though I do try to make plans about being more creative and productive, as I do every year. In the end, though, what I choose to do or not do doesn't matter, so long as Sharon and I do it together. I'm happy that she's really become the only thing that matters in my life. God knows, I could have worse

All in all, life is going along okay and I'm sure it'll be good coming year.

This post originally appeared at Use Your Words, my other blog and guilty habit/pleasure.

The jolly old elf is updating his tech profile.

There are lots of ways to celebrate the Christmas season. I, personally, start listening to Christmas music far too early. I may not decorate until after Thanksgiving, but Christmas music makes me happy, and we seem to be in short supply of that thanks to the current political and economic climate. My wife loves all the holiday movies, especially the Biblical movies. (Of course, she loves the Easter ones as much as the Christmas ones, if not more.) And, we both enjoy watching the classics. Later in the month, I'll link to the NORAD Santa Tracker, as I have for many years, so you can track Santa's path with your kids. But, before we get too much farther into the season, let me share with you a new, free, service, via Lifehacker; Santa's Text List.
Just fill out the short form and you'll get regular texts from Santa, with increasing frequency as Christmas fast approaches, that are suited to the child, adult or senior of your choice, and who's cell number you're willing to put into the form.
The service, sponsored by SlickText, says that they won't use this information to try and sell you anything or send spam texts to your phone after the season ends, but I haven't actually verified that through empirical testing, so, you're taking a chance there. If you try the service, let me know in the comments how it works out.

And, brace yourself for a very, merry Christmas season!

This post originally appeared on Use Your Words!

I sort of hate "Black Friday".

Yes, I have given into the base consumerism of the so-called holiday, even though it goes against so much of what I believe is important in life, and even though it follows Thanksgiving, a day meant to remind us of all we have for which to be actually thankful. Still, it's a reality. It's a thing that's going to happen. Even I will call up Bell's Farm to Market and order up my Northern family's Christmas gifts to have them delivered. I do that mostly out of nostalgia, because I have fond memories of my uncle in Florida who would send fresh fruit for Christmas every year. Back in those days, it was a real treat to get fresh oranges in December. Not just because things like that cost more when I was a kid, but, honestly, in retrospect, because I think money was pretty tight for my parents and having food sent for Christmas was a real help no matter what it was. Of course, not getting rickets was a real bonus, too. So, I send that stuff now, not because anyone I send it to is hurting for it, but because it reminds me of a favorite great uncle and, I hope, reminds my siblings of him, too.

But, of course, you, dear readers, are not here to read my maudlin holiday remembrances. You're here for your Friday link! And, boy, do I have a doozy for you. Now, before I share it, let me say that I do NOT endorse theft of any kind, least of all from retailers this time of year. However, if you're out in the mad dash of Black Friday spending and somehow spend your hard-earned cash on clothes that some poor, harried, over-worked and under-paid sales clerk accidentally doesn't remove the anti-theft dye tag from before hustling you out the door, this link is for you. Brought to you via BoingBoing, here's the Lockpicking Lawyer, on how to remove an inventory control tag. So, if you somehow bypass the shitty security these tags provide and get out of the store with one still on your new shirt or pants or whatever, now you can most likely remove it without having to face the snarling mob at the store.
But, again, not advocating this as a way to steal anything from the stores on the busiest shopping day of the year, when security and store personnel will be stretched thin. Honestly, if you absolutely must buy things on Black Friday, do it on-line and avoid the crowds.

Most of all, though, enjoy your family this holiday season and focus on what really matters; them.

This post originally appeared at Use Your Words!

I like my fun to be automatic, free and semi-random.

Way back in the day, I was ahead of the curve on autogenerated "stuff". In my case, it was semi-random language generation that I ran over on Fantasist.net. Let me tell you, back when I started doing it, I took an incredible amount of flack from the constructed language people for automating any part of the language creation process. Now, of course, there are plenty of the youngsters out there doing it, but it wasn't always like that. I'm grateful they are though, because my stuff wasn't programmed all that cleanly and got used so hard it used to crash the servers at my hosting company.
But, other than taking a moment to self-aggrandize, I only bring it up because I love that kind of automated fun. And, to me, that absolutely is fun. I love random generators, which you can still see on the Fantasist.net World Building page, but, since I'm a frustrated writer, all my work deals with text. This week, I'm bringing you something a bit more interesting. First, there's the Medieval Fantasy City Generator, which, as you may have guessed, randomly generates a pretty good, albeit simple, city map for your stories or adventures. It's quick, and detailed enough, but loads of fun. The programmer, Watabou, as they're known on /r/proceduralgeneration at Reddit, has actually made several related generator toys like this. My other favorite is the One-Page Dungeon. It's a neat, little dungeon that's perfect for a quick FRPG adventure, if you're so inclined. And, I thought, with the holidays nearly upon us, that friends gathering with limited time, might like such a thing to game with. Also? They're just fun to look at. At least, if you're an old game geek like me.

So, there you are, just some quick, procedurally generated fun on the Friday before Thanksgiving!
And, be sure to check out the other stuff Watabou has shared, too! There are some fun, free games as well.
Enjoy!

This post first appeared at Use Your Words!

“Managing up” has to be one of my least favorite business buzzword phrases, and the most condescending.

I’m grateful I don’t hear this phrase as much as I used to earlier in my career. The last time I heard someone use it, they were commenting on how little they thought about their direct supervisor’s ability. When you think about it, the phrase, and the idea behind it, is pretty insulting. The implication is that I know better than the person above me in the company organization chart and, essentially, have to do their job for them because they’re incapable of managing me. For one thing, it starts from a false premise, though one that a lot of technical people seem to buy into, namely that my work requires knowledge and abilities beyond the management layer above me. I’ve never found that to be actually true.
I prefer the term “managing expectations”. It’s more accurate and applicable to all levels of the org chart. It’s also something I do regularly. For instance, if I’m working on a project for someone, I want to make sure they know what’s involved and the kind of time that might take so they have some idea why I’ve set a delivery date. Or, more importantly, why the delivery date the stakeholder might expect is unreasonable. There are times, of course, that I find myself able to deliver well within the expected time, but, unfortunately, that’s much more unusual.
The other way I manage expectations is in what can be delivered at all. I will grant that to many the computer systems I work with on a regular basis are a bit like magic. Black boxes of mysterious abilities that miraculously produce information and reports when working correctly. Or, evil, possessed infernal machines that are blamed for keeping some other department from producing results when they aren’t working well. Obviously, my goal is to make sure the technology in my care is always working well, but that’s not always possible. And, when I’m asked by someone to produce something new, I want to give them an accurate idea of what precisely I’ll be able to deliver to them on whatever timetable is likely. Of course, like most technical people, I follow the lead of Montgomery Scott, Chief Engineer of the starship Enterprise and do my best to set expectations low so that when I am able to exceed them I seem like a miracle worker. Like the time I told someone I’d “do my best” to recover some of the more than three terabytes of engineering drawings that the previous IT person had lost to a cryptolocker virus, then found a decryption tool after everyone else had left early for a long holiday weekend that restored all the lost data.
Yes, I worked what seemed like a miracle, but before I did, I set the expectation that the data was going to be lost because the last tech hadn’t tested the backups. So, rather than “managing up”, manage expectations of what kind of results, and when those results, can be delivered. Everyone, not just your managers, will appreciate it more.

This post originally appeared on my LinkedIn profile.

Hey, that dog can talk!

Okay, so not literally, but pretty close.
I have a friend who has this idea he calls "the talking dog theory". It goes like this. Dog lovers talk to their dogs as if they're people who might answer back. And, what if those dogs could talk back? Would we care what the dog said? Or would we be so amazed to get a response that we'd sit with rapt fascination, thinking, "How incredible! This animal can talk!" So, what if we applied that to people in a meeting that were annoying us with the banalities? Instead of getting annoyed with them, maybe we should simply be amazed that that animal can talk!
Well, amusing anecdotes aside, what I have for you this week is an actual talking dog, sort of. I've seen this multiple places, but I'm sharing the link from BestLife, about Stella the "talking" dog. Stella's owner is Christina Hunger who is a speech pathologist. She made Stella a "sound board" with some common words that her darling doggie might want to know, like "out" and "ball" and "play". Then she set about teaching Stella what the buttons all met. Now, Stella uses the sound board to "talk" to her owner and tell Ms. Hunger what she wants. The video is pretty remarkable.

Honestly, though, I don't think I want to give my two dogs any more encouragement to try and tell me what they want. Lily would always be hitting the buttons for "hungry - feed - me" and Penny would be always asking for "out - squirrel" or "rub - tummy". And I know what they want already.
In any case, great videos and fun, even if you're not a dog lover! Though if you're not a dog lover, I'm not sure I'd care for your opinion anyway.

Enjoy!

This post originally appeared at Use Your Words!

When was that word first used?

When I was in High School, I remember being fascinated by the idea that James Hilton's book Lost Horizon was so popular that his invented paradise, Shangra La, entered into the public consciousness and common usage. That may have been the first time I realized the power that an author may wield. And, here's the thing, that happens more than we realize. I think we're taught that English is this monolithic thing that is static and fixed, but it's not. It's not at all. New words are being added to our cultural vocabulary all the time. Eventually, they get added to the dictionary, mostly as a recognition of language that's already in use. Sometimes, though, we can know who coined a term, and when they did it, like "cyberspace". That was first used by William Gibson in a short story titled "Burning Chrome", published in Omni Magazine in 1982. That story, along with Frank Herbert's Dune are what made me want to be a writer, before paying bills drowned that creative impulse almost completely.
But, all that aside, my point is, every year, writers add to our English vocabulary. Merriam-Webster's Time Traveler can tell you what new words were added in what year. Go, look. Even if you don't find it as inspiring as I do, it is occasionally fascinating to know how long some common words have been in use. For some it's longer than we realize, but for others, it's not as long as you might suppose!

This post originally appeared on Use Your Words!

Clear goals make for more successful projects.

There is no way to guarantee a successful project, but I can sure tell you the best way to make one fail; don’t set a clear goal.
When I was in Boy Scouts, I earned my Eagle Scout award. That was a long time ago, and I know some things have changed since then, but one requirement that hasn’t changed is running a successful service project. At the time, the bar for success was set pretty low, and, of course, I had lots of help from Scoutmasters and advisers on how to set up and run my service project. What I learned in Scouting, I carried forward into my working life and still use to this day. The single best way to stack the odds in your favor of success is having clearly defined goals that include a deadline. My goals, whether personal or professional, need to be so crystal clear that I can express them to someone not involved in the project in thirty seconds or less. If I can’t do that, I need to rethink whatever project I’m gearing up.
For instance, as a technical specialist focused on IT infrastructure, when I’m getting ready to refresh datacenter hardware, I should be able to tell my CIO or CFO what servers and drive arrays are being replaced, how the data will transfer from the old hardware to the new equipment, what the time involved will be and what my fall-back plan is in case of catastrophic failure at some level. Simple, clear and direct. And, I should be able to state that in a non-technical way for non-technical staff who might need to know. If I’m upgrading a wide-area network from a series of point-to-point connections in the old-fashioned spoke-and-star configuration with a software-defined WAN configured with a mesh of redundant connections, I need to be able to clearly describe that end result, with the advantages and disadvantages and any potential risks, to non-technical executive staff.
I need to be able to do all that not only so they can hold me and my department accountable for our success or failure, but also so that I can keep everyone on the project focused in the right direction. This is the lesson I learned so many years ago working on my Eagle Scout service project. A clear, concise goal is easier to explain and share with outsiders, but it’s also essential for project participants, to keep everyone focused on the same goal and headed the same direction. No one can lead a team, whether on a short project or on a larger team, without clear, shared goals and deadlines. A project without a clear, shared goal is doomed to failure because no one will be working together on the same shared goal, except by accident.
Success should never be an accident. It should always be a plan.

This post originally appeared on my LinkedIn profile.