Just a little…
My therapist told me on the phone yesterday that I’m too hard on myself. That I have more control over my life than I like to think. That I have more personal power than I give myself credit for having. I suppose he’s right, and not just because he’s a therapist. Most of my friends tell me that I sell myself short. The thing is, all I remember are the mistakes I’ve made, not the successes. I see the bad choices, the wrong turns, and flithy habits. I forget that I learn something from every mistake. That wrong turns often take me to neighborhoods that have interesting lessons. And, frankly, that I have fewer flithy habits than I used to have. (And, no, I will not tell you which ones I still have trouble with. Y’all are in pixel land where you can’t see it anyway!)
I remember a “funny” saying that is sort of what drives me these days. “God, let me learn to be half the man my dog thinks I am.” There’s nothing like unconditional love and loyalty to boost a guy’s self-esteem. And, I have to admit, all the nice ladies at the vet today, who were so sweet with Hilda and I, didn’t hurt either. Funny, I never would have thought it was so unusual for a guy my age to be so concerned about his dog’s health and well-being, but they sure seemed to think so. I may just visit up there, even when we don’t have to have any “proceedures”, just to get my Hilda girl more socialized to that kind of stressful situation. She was really curious about the other dogs and wasn’t even too scardey today. Hey, it’s progress!
So, too, with my own short-comings. I’m far from perfect, but, I do have the capacity to improve myself. And, I do work at it. Not everyone agrees with my own personal estimation of progress, but, there will always be negative people who try to tear me down. In fact, I think I finally understand what my father meant when he told me “If you make it through life without at least someone disliking you, you did something wrong”. So, I guess, I’m doing stuff right. I have disagreements and flat out arguments with people. I have plenty of folks who just can’t see anything good about me because all they do is look for the bad. That’s okay, because I know their secret.
They’re not perfect, either.
Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."