No, not relationships with professionals.
At least, not exactlly. I’ve been thinking about this lately for a couple of reasons.
First, I read too many blogs. A lot of those blogs are written by people of the female persuasion, and I’ve noticed a trend. In all the cases that the blogger bemoans their problems with relationships, the problem seems to be a simple lack of courtesy on the part of the paramour.
Second, I was thinking about a couple of relationships I had up North, before I moved down here to Houston. In two of those, I was involved with someone from work. The one that went horribly awry did so because of a simple lack of response by my coworker.
And, finally, Match.com. Is it so hard to send one of the pre-scripted, “No Thanks” e-mails? I mean, you don’t even have to write anything, just point and click, but, instead, people seem to think that it’s okay to just ignore the whole thing. To me, that seems unimaginably rude. Someone’s gone out of their way to make contact and all they in response is… Nothing? I just can’t do that.
All of these things lead me to a simple conclusion. I expect as much courtesy as you would give a coworker. Does that seem like so much to ask? All I want in a relationship is to be treated with the same respect and attention that one would accord a collegue. If I call, you should call back or at least respond in some way telling me why that was impossible. E-mails should be returned in a reasonable amount of time, even if just to say that a more detailed response is forthcoming. I mean, look, if I’ve bought you dinner the least you can do is show a little appreciation and respect. (And, no, McDonalds does NOT count as dinner. Think Cavatore or Back Door Sushi, at least.)
Is that asking too much? That a date or potential partner respond with a minimum of professional courtesy? I certainly don’t think that’s too much to ask. Or, too much to give, frankly. Apparently, though, that is more than some people are willing to give. Ms. NewGal is always apologizing to me for talking about her hopes and fears and, well, for being “needy”. Mind, I don’t think she’s any needier than anyone else in the world, but she seems to think that she is and, therefore, must somehow make up for it. And, I have to admit, I really don’t do anything very special for her, just listen. Oh, I tell her stuff that I hope will help, but I think she mainly knows that I’m talking through my hat. So, in the end, all I can do is listen and be respectful. And, really, isn’t that all any of us really want? Someone who listens and respects us?
Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"When you handle yourself, use your head; when you handle other, use your heart."