I’m sure that’s all it is.
I’ve been coughing again, like I was last year about this time. I’m sure I’ve just caught a cold and the cough will go away soon. I’m sure it’s not like last year. I’m sure I won’t start coughing blood. Everyone at work has been sick, it seems, so I’m sure that I’ve just caught one of their colds. I end up at everyone’s desk, after all. If anyone is going to catch something, it would be me. Sure, I got a flu shot this year, but there’s that super cold going around. I’m sure that’s all it is.
But, I’m afraid.
I started to cough and spit in the sink to see if there was pink in it. I started to wonder how I’d make it through another year of chemotherapy. Knowing what it’s like now, I started to be afraid of the cough, of what it might mean.
I have an appointment with a cardiologist Thursday to monitor my blood thinner and my high-blood-pressure medication. I go in for a scan on December 10th, which is a Monday. But, if I’m not significantly improved by the end of the coming week, I’ll make an appointment to see another doctor about my cold, or whatever it is.
I don’t think it’s my cancer come back, but I’m afraid anyway.