Diary of a Network Geek

On this day in 1951, my profession was, essentially “born”.

Today marks the anniversary of the unveiling of the UNIVAC, the world’s first commercially produced and available electronic digital computer in the United States. The first electronic computers were invented during World War II by the military. Engineers in Great Britain invented the Colossus computer to help break Nazi codes, and engineers in the United States invented the ENIAC, to help calculate the trajectories of missiles.
The ENIAC used 17,468 vacuum tubes, 7,200 crystal diodes, 1,500 relays, 70,000 resistors, 10,000 capacitors and around 5 million hand-soldered joints. It weighed 30 tons, was roughly 8 feet by 3 feet by 100 feet, took up 1800 square feet, and consumed 150 kW of power. The ENIAC radiated so much heat that industrial cooling fans were needed to keep its circuitry from melting down. It took two days to reprogram it for each new task.

The men who created the ENIAC decided to go into private business for themselves, and it was on this day in 1951 that they unveiled their first product, the UNIVAC I, the world’s first commercially available electronic computer. It was quite an improvement over the ENIAC, using a mere5,200 vacuum tubes, UNIVAC I weighed just 29,000 pounds (or 13 tons), consumed 125 kW, and could perform about 1,905 operations per second running on a 2.25 MHz clock, which was the fastest calculation rate in the world at the time. The Central Complex alone (i.e. the processor and memory unit) was 14 feet by 8 feet by 8.5 feet high. The complete system occupied more than 350 square feet of floor space.
The first customer to buy the UNIVAC was the United States Census Bureau, and the computer was used to predict the presidential election of 1952, after early returns began to come in. It correctly predicted that Eisenhower would win. Originally priced at $159,000, the UNIVAC I rose in price until they were between $1,250,000 and $1,500,000. A total of 46 systems were eventually built and delivered.
Thomas J. Watson, the chairman of IBM at the time, thought that computers, with all their incredibly complex vacuum tubes and circuitry, were too complicated. He famously said, “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” But with the invention of the microchip in 1971, all the processing power of those thousands of vacuum tubes and punch cards could suddenly be crammed into a space the size of a postage stamp. Within a decade, the first personal computers, or PCs, began to appear. Ironically, Apple made them popular and inexpensive enough for the home user and drove what we think of as the computer revolution.

But, it all started with UNIVAC. So, happy birthday, big guy. Thanks for being just delicate enough to keep me working!

When everyone else has bad luck, I have great luck.

No, seriously!  I can’t wait to see how much my general luck improves compared to everyone else’s today.  Personally, I think it’s really all about keeping a positive mental attitude.  I mean, people are so quick to blame anything that goes wrong in their life on some superstitious belief that they’re having “bad luck” caused by some uncontrollable, supernatural event that they never stop to ask why they might have had even worse luck!  And, frankly, I think most people who will blame Friday the Thirteenth for their rotten luck don’t have any idea why they’re doing so!

So, why not tell them?  No, seriously, go check out “How Friday the 13th Works” at HowStuffWorks.com or “Why Friday the 13th is Unlucky” at About.com to see some ideas about why people think this way.  Personally, as a Freemason and a bit of a Knights Templar buff, I’ve always gone with how that was the day the Knights Templar were suppressed in all of Europe.  It’s as good as any other superstition!

My users think I’m a magician or a sorcerer.

Frankly, I’m not sure which is better.
In any case, this week I finally cleaned up the last remnants of some nastiness that one of my users got himself into. He followed a link from Google search results to what seemed like a perfectly legitimate blog. He was looking for some poetry reference in the Sex In The City movie. (Yeah, I know, I know. A big, tough oil industry service guy looking for poetry in a chick flick. Go figure!) Well, when he got to this blog, it had an embedded player with what it claimed was a clip from the movie. But, when he went to play the clip, it told him he needed to update his Flash player and provides a “helpful” link. That’s when all manner of unholiness broke loose on his computer.

Well, he got updated, all right. With spyware and virii. I lost count of how many and what kind there were. One changed his time and date format to include the text “VIRUS ALERT!!”, so that it appeared next to the time on his Taskbar. Another made his main hard drive, his “C” drive, disappear from his My Computer! And, at least one of these was the FakeAVAlert trojan, but I never did figure out which one scrambled his My Computer. The funny thing was, after running every anti-virus and spyware removal tool that I normally use, the drive was still hiding somewhere. But, he was running from that drive just fine! Well, I searched for a day or two, while doing the rest of my normal gig, but never could find why this had happened.
I did, however, find a fix. TweakUI from the Windows XP Power Toys. I loaded that on his computer then went in to it under the My Computer section and, sure enough, the local drive was shown as being hidden. I corrected that and **SHAZAM**!!
UPDATE: It occurred to me this morning, after posting, that I should let you all know how to fix the clock issue in more detail.  The setting is found in the Control Panel, under Regional Options, which is not quite intuitive.  Under Regional Options, choose Custom, then find Time and adjust the format per the screen instructions.  If you’re in Windows 2000, once Regional Options is open, choose the Time tab and adjust accordingly.

Yep, just like magic, I am.

I finished Rainbows End by Vernor Vinge last week.

There’s a reason Rainbows End was awarded the Hugo for Best Novel in 2007. It is, to put it simply, a great book. There were parts that got a little slow for me, but, over all, it was a great piece of work. Of course, it probably didn’t hurt that I knew Vernor Vinge taught Computer Science and that the book had won the award. That is why I got it to read, after all.

The story follows one Robert Gu, a famous poet who’s fallen victim to Alzheimer’s Disease, as he’s cured and reintegrates into society.  The “down side” of his cure is that he’s lost the miracle of his poetry.  Somehow, whatever the cure does to fix the dementia alters Robert’s brain in such a way that he is no longer the man he used to be.  And, he’d do just about anything to get that magic back.  The story also follows Robert’s son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter as they deal with his regained ability to interact with the world.  The twist comes in with the fact that his son, Bob, and daughter-in-law, Alice, are in the military as part of the group who keeps America, and the world, safe from terrorists of all stripes.  International spies find a way to use Robert’s desire for regaining his poetic skills to get inside Bob and Alice’s command.  Their goal is somewhat less clear, but it involves a plot to manipulate the minds of the unsuspecting world public to “improve” everyone’s way of life.  Of course, things rarely work out the way anyone intends.

Well, as you can imagine, there are some very good reasons this won the Hugo for 2007.  It is a very good book.  I got a little distracted in the middle when life got a little strange, but, for the most part, the plot moved along at a good pace and always had something interesting to offer.  One of the attractions for me was the view of future computer technology that Vinge describes in this book.  His concept of wearable computers that are partially integrated into clothing and contacts seems like a logical step from where scientists are experimenting today.  Vinge presents this, and all the hard science-fiction in this book, in a realistic, no-nonsense way that makes it all seem very plausible.
He also draws some believable characters who’s actions are logical and reasonable given their motivation and the circumstances.  I can easily see myself doing some of the same things these characters do, both good and bad.

In short, if you enjoy science-fiction, there’s plenty to enjoy in Rainbows End by Vernor Vinge.  Definitely a change for me, but a good one which I heartily recommend.

Everything is still clear.

The doctor said my blood work was excellent.  I put on a couple of pounds, but, then it beats the way I took off all that weight last year!  My blood pressure was lower than it’s been on a Monday in a very long time, though, that’s probably because I wasn’t at work.  The scar tissue on my right lung is about as small as it’s likely to get though, and the doctor seemed fine with that.

Everything else, medically, satisfied the doctor, who seemed quite pleased with my progress.
The one thing I do still worry about is the money.  Even with what my medical insurance pays, I’m probably going to owe several thousand dollars this year and next year and, possibly, the year after that!  The thousand dollar deductible and 20% the insurance company doesn’t cover adds up pretty quickly with all these scans.  At least I’m on the right side of the grass to deal with them, though, so, I know things will work out eventually.
And, even though we’re paying big money at the pumps, I’m very grateful to be working in an industry that services the oil fields right now.  We have work for the next three to five years and they keep me busy.  That’s something else I’m really thankful for: having a job.  It’s not too many years ago I was out of work and didn’t know when I’d work again.  I try to remember that when I have problems on Mondays or have to work late on a Friday to update the firmware on the server drive array.

On a sad note, I found out this morning that an old friend whom I’d fallen out of touch with died yesterday from pancreatic cancer.  Even though I hadn’t really talked to him in years, knowing that he’s gone makes my own results a little bitter-sweet.
Cancer touches so many lives and I count myself as truly blessed to have been spared so many of the worst aspects of it.  In many ways, I’ve been very fortunate.  I do want you all to know that I’m more than willing to talk about cancer or my treatment with anyone who may be dealing with it elsewhere in their life.  I hope no one has been touched by cancer more than they have through me, but, if you all have, know that you don’t need to be alone with it.

Thanks again for all your prayers and positive support and thoughts!

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"If you can't be thankful for what you receive, be thankful for what you escape."
   --Unknown

Simple.

Follow these eight rules from IO9. No, really, just follow their Eight Unstoppable Rules for Writing Killer Short Stories.

Now, ‘scuse me while I go write something.

By the time most of you read this, I’ll be fully irradiated and probed with God-knows-what-kind of rays.

Yes, the joy of being a recovering cancer patient is that the doctors keep close watch on you.  Today, I’m having the second of four scans I’ll get this year.  This time, it’s a PET scan, not a CT scan.  Unlike a CT scan, I don’t have to drink the barium which messes up my digestive tract for days afterward.  Instead, I’ll have an I.V. put in and get injected with a kind of mildly radioactive glucose.  Then, I get to sit quietly and contemplate my sins for an hour while the glow-in-the-dark glucose gets sucked up by my body’s tissues.  Anything that’s more metabolically active than the surrounding tissue will get a higher dose and, therefore, show up more on the scan.  The theory is that a tumor would use more of that glucose and be an easily identifiable dark spot.

And, I have to admit, the geek in me loves to see the results of this.  When I was near the end of treatment, one of my doctors showed me a side-by-side comparison of the before and after PET scans.  It was like something from the Discovery channel.  Two ghostly, skeletal images of me, in basically the same position, rotating in unison on the screen.  One with a tumor the size of a football in my lung, the other with something more like a big lime, or a kiwi.  The difference was quite startling and the pictures themselves were fairly impressive.  Sometimes I wonder at the age of technological marvels in which we live.

In any case, I’ll be fully probed and, hopefully, done by lunch.  My plan is to take my keeper for the day to a decent sushi place for lunch, since I haven’t been able to eat since midnight, the only big downside to the PET scan.  And, for a change, I’ll get the results Monday, not a whole week later, too.  Normally, I have a very long wait to find out what, if anything, they may have discovered floating around in me, so this will be a nice change.
Naturally, I’ll report the results when I get them!

hummus bread with eggs

Originally uploaded by carmen maria

You know what I want to ask LK?

Why didn’t you ever fix my kitchen? You were going to make my kitchen efficient and work better, in some way that you never were able to explain to me. I was always secretly hoping that you would find a way to fix my kitchen and, by so doing, somehow, fix me.

I wanted to be a good cook, you know. I wanted to be the kind of man that Padma Lakshmi apparently pines for, one who would cook for her. I have to admit that cooking for a food person like LK was very, very intimidating and, well, I did a poor job of it. It’s funny, though, because she wanted a man to cook for her. I think I won her over by making macaroni and cheese. LK, that is, not Padma.

And, I do like to cook, most of the time. Though, I have to admit, I really do think it would go better if I had a more efficiently arranged kitchen. I mean, I might actually accomplish more and finish more of the strange culinary experiments I try.
The picture that I’ve sneaked from Flickr, which inspired this post, has toasted hummus bread in it. And eggs. I think it would be rather perfect if it included bacon. But, whatever hummus bread really is, and really tastes like, it sounds like an adventure to me. Something to challenge and excite the taste buds. And, of course, I love bread. And toast.

But, I need someone to fix my kitchen.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"If someone keeps having things go wrong, try out the assumption that it's because that someone wants them to go wrong."
   --George Scithers

Strangers

Originally uploaded by Network Geek

Quite possibly the least frightening scary movie I’ve ever seen.

Well, Child’s Play may have been worse, but The Strangers really is a bad, bad movie.
Granted, I am not the biggest fan of so-called horror films because I find them sadly formulaic and predictable, not to mention generally not scary, either. Also, mostly, the people in these movies never seem to learn and they make giant, ridiculous mistakes. Sadly, as much as I hoped this movie might surprise me, it did not.

So, the basic premise of The Strangers is this: A “happy” couple has a bit of relationship trouble after a friend’s wedding but end up out in the country at an isolated house where they’re stalked by persons unknown. One of the many formulas for horror films. So, naturally, here’s this couple, played by Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman, and they’re having a fight about the fact that he’s asked her to marry him but she’s not ready to marry. And, of course, their fight leads them to sex. Well, almost… As they’re starting to get their freak on, a girl knocks at the door asking for some other girl by name, but, of course, not anyone the couple knows. That’s the last drama for almost an hour. Yes, that’s right, an hour. He goes out for cigarettes and she changes clothes while she dashes about the house hearing the usual “is someone there?” stuff that end up in horror movies. By the time he gets back with her cigarettes, she’s freaking out and we know that someone else is there. And, finally, there’s some hope that plot will occur and someone will die.

Well, there are finally a couple of deaths and a little bit of suspense and a bit of violence. But, let’s look at the mistakes now, shall we? First of all, they’re eating Bluebell Ice Cream. Now, that means that these folks are in the rural South somewhere, since that’s mostly where Bluebell is available. In fact, I’m betting they’re supposed to be in Texas, which is home to the Brenham-based dairy. So, that would mean that there should be guns in the house somewhere. Not just the shotgun they find, but one or more revolvers. I mean, seriously, can anyone believe that a rural Texas home doesn’t have more than just a shotgun? Really? Or that a guy would not have at least a passing understanding of how to use it? C’mon! I bet Live Tyler in real life has a better understanding of guns than the “hero” of this story!
Then, Liv Tyler spends most of the movie running around barefoot. Can you not take the time to put on shoes before trying to outrun a someone you think is going to kill you? I mean, seriously, am I going to make a mad dash to a barn over an unknown hillside trying to get away from a murderer without putting on shoes? Yeah, I don’t think so, either.
And, do I really need to go into the whole “stay together” thing? Or, do I need to reinforce what a good idea it is to keep your cellphone charged? Or how silly it is to stand by the windows when the killers are right outside and have an axe? Seriously, the two characters in this movie deserved to die. They were too stupid to live. It was just evolution in action.

Honestly, if this isn’t the worst movie I see all year, I’d be shocked. In fact, if I hadn’t only spent four dollars on the matinee to see The Strangers, I’d be really upset. Do yourself a favor, though, and don’t bother seeing this movie, or even renting it. Trust me.