Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.

1/9/2005

Let It Go

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Deep Thoughts,Dog and Pony Shows,Life, the Universe, and Everything,Personal — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Hare which is in the early morning or 7:27 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Crescent

That’s my new goal for the new year.
I’m no good at letting things go, to be honest. I want to hold on tight until my fingers bleed and then I just want to switch hands. Of course, I know that’s not healthy for me, in any sense of the word, so I’m trying to take the advice of friends and just “let it go”. It’s hard, though, when I feel wronged or cheated or, even, like I just wasn’t given a “fair shake”, to shrug and walk away. But, it’s what I should do. I know that, but…
But, I miss my dog today. The dog I begged to get. The dog I named. The dog for whom I baked home-made biscuits. The dog who often would not eat or relieve herself until I got home from work. The dog I had to carry to her crate every night. Maybe I should have fought harder for my dog. My poor Hilda. Trapped so far away. I wonder if she even understands what’s going on. Probably not. I hope not. I hated letting her go. But, I was in full-on pain avoidance mode and that seemed like the best way to avoid the most pain. Now, I wonder if it was. I know I can get another dog, but I miss my Hildegard. And she’s gone, but I’m having trouble letting her go.
So. So, it’s a goal, this letting go. It’s what I aspire to accomplish for the coming year. To take care of myself and do the things I need to do and then, in the most zen sense of it, to let it go.


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"A man is known by the company his mind keeps."
   --Thomas Bailey Aldrich


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