Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.


Something Fishy

Filed under: Art,Deep Thoughts,Life, the Universe, and Everything,News and Current Events,Personal,The Network Geek at Home — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Tiger which is terribly early in the morning or 5:48 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is a First Quarter Moon

Well, more brackish than fishy, I suppose.
I’ve been having some pond problems. First, there were the leeches in the skimmer. No, not the little red worms that turn into some kind of tiny fly that the dragonflies love to eat, but actual leeches. How do I know what leeches look like? Well, let’s just say I was the only one smart enough not to swim in that “special” lake at Boy Scout Camp. So, I poured a bunch of salt into that filter to get rid of them. That seems to have worked so far.
Then, the waterfall started to leak. Well, to be fair, I’ve been expecting this. The waterfall is really not all that great. It’s not very good as a waterfall and had gotten clogged with the nasty papyrus the former owners seemed to have liked so well. I tore all that out, trying figure out a way to fix the leak. The problem is, the leak is caused by the fact that the rotting wood which makes up the sad, sagging framework has given way in one corner, pulling the pond liner down below the water-line there. So, I had to bypass the waterfall with PVC and redirect the water flow back directly from the filters into the pond. I have to replace the water fall with something more aesthetic than two, plain PVC pipes. It just does not work with the rest of the decor!
And, now, two of the three pumps that run the filtration system seem to have given out. So, I have to buy at least two pumps and, if I do what I’m contemplating for the waterfall, most likely, three pumps. No small amount of change, but, unfortunately, neccessary. And, again, not entirely unexpected, considering the age of the pumps. I knew I’d have to replace them eventually, but I’d hoped to do this all next Summer at least. Ah, well, it never rains but it pours. (Which is true here in the Gulf Coast, but the additional fresh water going into the ponds works to my advantage at the moment, so I don’t mind!)

So, now here’s what I’ve been thinking about for the waterfall replacement… Imagine a boiler, or some other similar structure, with its top cut off and plants growing out of it with the final, center auxillary pipe emptying into the pond. Imagine a symetrical network of pipes feeding out of the structure, wrapping around the outside of it, being topped with three plumbing fixtures that have plants growing out of them and feeding into that final pipe before it drains into the pond. Of course, this entire monstrosity would have to be created out of PVC, so as to not poison the fish, but the exterior could be painted so that it would resemble old metal of some kind. It would be strange and surreal and, hopefully, fantastic, but I’m not sure that I’ll actually do it. It’s not the work or even the expense, but, rather, I’m not sure this is the artistic aesthetic that I really want for that portion of my backyard. If it works, it would be a great, cool, wonderous thing, but… But, if it doesn’t, it’ll be hideous. Thus my dillema.

And, yeah, this has been going on for weeks, but I’ve held off posting about it for fear of giving one of my regular readers more information about my life than they deserve to know. In fact, I may end up shelving the project for several months for that same reason. Or not. We’ll have to see.


  1. . . . and for the coupe de grace, you could paint a small gray rectangle on the front of the boiler, with ominous eyes and bushy black eyebrows. Not unlike this:


    It would go really nicely with your voodoo steak knife holder, AND say a little something about yourself while you’re at it!

    Comment by MightyKong! — 7/13/2005 @ 9:38 am

  2. this is actually the better likeness:


    Comment by MightyKong! — 7/13/2005 @ 9:40 am

  3. Well, I wasn’t aware of the reference until you posted the comment, but, I do often refer to Uncle Jim’s Bag O’ Tricks™ when I’m doing something particularly impossible (ie Often!)

    Though, I was actually picturing something more along the lines of a surrealist post-modern decay kind of piece. Sort of like industrialism being overrun by nature and subsumed by the swamp/bayou. But, that’s just me. 😉

    Comment by the Network Geek — 7/13/2005 @ 1:56 pm

  4. See. . . In MY vision, the Master Cylinder is sitting in a crashed flying saucer (that’s your water fall. It would involve lots of moving lights.

    A cut out of Rock Bottom would be mucking about in the fish pond or near your pond skimmer, looking for leeches and the Professor’s cut out would be shaking his fists skyward with a little conversation balloon that said simply, “FELIX!!!”

    Then I’d have a barbecue and invite all my friends, we’d sit around and drink beers, roast hot dogs, and talk all about back when. . .

    Comment by MightyKong! — 7/13/2005 @ 2:57 pm

  5. Most of your readers scramble to look up the word: “brackish”

    But not me. It’s all on a “scale” of indifference.

    Comment by Mark — 7/14/2005 @ 7:43 pm

  6. Yeah, that old waterfall is going to be really nasty coming out. I scooped some mosquito fish into it to try and cut down on the nasty factor, but I’m still shuddering at the thought of leeches. If this works, though, I’ll have a really interesting water feature. And, fear of my future ex-wife aside, the backyard will really become more mine. Funny, how reclaiming who I am involves standing in fish crap and foul, swampy water. There has GOT to be a message in there for me somewhere. Doesn’t there?

    Comment by the Network Geek — 7/14/2005 @ 8:55 pm

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