Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.


Grey Flannel Hero

Filed under: Criticism, Marginalia, and Notes,Deep Thoughts,Life, the Universe, and Everything,Personal,The Network Geek at Home — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Tiger which is terribly early in the morning or 4:59 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Crescent

I doubt most of my readers even understand that allusion.
I read an article on Beliefnet about male-female relations the other day and, as always, it got me thinking. One of the themes in the article was about what characteristics made a man. Interestingly enough, the opinion of the writer was that it was patience, kindness, gentleness and internal strength that were the most “manly” attributes. I find it interesting because these are not the attributes I always percieved that society appreciates. Things like “earning ability” and good looks and fearlessness were always what I thought women wanted. And, since I rarely possess any of those things in great measure, I always felt that I fell short in “Makes Good Husband/Life Partner” department. Something, incidentally, that was reinforced for me, one way or another, by various equally damaged ladies.
And, yet, the woman writing the article, who was an apparently loyal and faithful wife of many years, waxed poetic about her husband and sons who all had these traits in abundance. Traits which I have been told, espcially recently, by friends of both sexes that I do, in fact, possess. I have always sought to fulfill my responsibilites, as I saw them. Though I may have fallen short, I always did my best to act with patience and calm toward everyone in my life. Something which my own father, who I very much admire, also, occasionally, had trouble with as well. We’re both getting better at it, even today. Hollywood may not glamourize it very often, but men who simply do their duty to their families and communities, the guys who stick it out and stay for the long haul, those are the real heros. I’ve always tried to be that kind of hero. The same kind of hero that Gregory Peck was in The Man In The Grey Flannel Suit.
I may not have always succeeded, but, at least I always tried. I’d like to think that, one day, I’ll find a woman who appreciates those values and won’t be distracted by money and flash. Oh, I suspect that I’ll “lose” plenty of women to those kinds of men, but, then, what have I lost, really? I just need to remind myself, like that line from that Demi Moore/Robert Redford movie, they’re not better men than I am, they just have more money.


  1. Patience, kindness and gentleness? I should say first that from what I have read you *do* have those qualities, but men in general? That certainly isn’t the first thing I think of. That would be the ideal man and it seems they are few and far between.

    Comment by Laanba — 8/7/2005 @ 7:31 am

  2. Well, thank you for the vote of confidence. Of course, I have my ugly side, too. And, I am a pretty hard-core geek. I’m far from perfect, but I do try to be better than I was. Someday, I’m sure I’ll find a lovely lady who will appreciate all that. Especially, I hope, the fact that I’m working on it all. Someday…

    Comment by the Network Geek — 8/7/2005 @ 7:59 am

  3. “You are a figure of romance; of spirit and action, but at the same time humble and tender. You are a man of iron with the soul of a poet. You are adventurous, gay, but with a lovers brooding melancholy, and above all, you must show passion!” — Mildered Natwick The Court Jester

    Patience, kindness, gentleness and internal strength? MMMmmmm. I’m a big “chemestry” buff. Hierarchically, Chemistry is right at the top, then kindness, integrity, warmth and humor.

    Comment by MightyKong! — 8/7/2005 @ 8:00 am

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