Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.

8/30/2005

Public Displays of Emotion

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Criticism, Marginalia, and Notes,Deep Thoughts,Life, the Universe, and Everything,MicroSoft,Personal — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Rooster which is in the early evening or 6:06 pm for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Crescent

To emote or not to emote…
Should that even be a question? There are times that I am sorely tempted to, as the old writing aphorism goes, “open up a vein” on this blog and just emote all over the place. God knows, I have plenty to “emote” about. Recently divorced, an ex-step-daughter that seems to think I’m the anit-Christ, mountains of debt, little forward progress in my career recently. There’s lots there. I could go on at length regarding my feelings when packing my ex-step-daughter’s clothes which were left behind. (None of these look like they’d fit her anymore, but they were still hers.) But, I hesitate. Why? Because I know who’s reading this. At least, I suspect who’s reading this. More importantly, I don’t know for sure, but am fairly certain that my ex-wife and her boyfriend (fiance?) read my blog searching for… Well, for something. Honestly, I’m not quite sure what, but they seem determined to find it, whatever “it” is.
So, knowing my audience, or potential audience, or possible audience, how much do I give them? Do I show them a little bit of what I’m feeling in order to show the rest of my readers what my life is like? Do I lie, to throw the pests off the track? No, I can’t lie as a simple distraction. It would feel too ingenuine to do that here. Is it better to drift at a shallow, surface level, never touching the deeper stuff, in the name of “safety”? Not sure I know the answer to that one, either. Though, that may be why my posts have been a strange mix of the personal, obscure and technical lately. Maybe.
Of course, for a long time now I’ve been careful what I say about things and people at work. After all, I would hate to get fired for blogging. Still, there are many things I can, and do, talk about that are quite geekily professional on this blog. It is not, by any stretch of my imagination, a professional blog. It’s very personal, but I do spend a lot of time at work, so work factors into my personal blog. And, I am a geek by nature. For pity’s sake, my older brother has a PhD. in Physical Chemistry and interviewed with Microsoft, in the early days. Know why he turned them down? My brother the chemist, who rearranged molecular bonding sites for his doctoral thesis and wrote shareware for the TI home computer, felt that the guys at Microsoft were just “too geeky”! It’s genetic. Geeks and we both still don’t care for Microsoft. And, yes, I had a great-great-uncle who was in the circus. As a trick shot artist! Still… Strange runs in my family. So, geeky stuff gets into the blog.
Well, have I rambled enough to distract you from the initial premise? Should I talk about my feelings in this blog when someone might either use that against me or take great satisfaction in my pain? Don’t know. If I ever figure it out, I’ll let you know.
Oh, and your Advice for today? “When agitated, pause.” Best advice I never asked for.


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved."
   --Victor Hugo

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2 Comments

  1. I would be careful about pouring your feelings out there, if someone can use it against you. I think you would find it very cathartic. You could always start an anonymous blog somewhere else to chronicle all these thoughts and feelings.

    Comment by Orion — 8/30/2005 @ 7:13 pm

  2. Well, to be honest, I doubt anyone could use it against me. But, I know someone who might take an inordinate amount of pleasure in my pain or even slight discomfort. So, the question becomes, do I want to give them the satisfaction? No, I don’t think I do, so I edit myself.

    Comment by the Network Geek — 8/30/2005 @ 7:43 pm

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