Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.


Men’s Health Grocery List

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,By Bread Alone,Personal,The Network Geek at Home — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Monkey which is in the late afternoon or 5:55 pm for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waxing Gibbous

I ordered a subscription to Men’s Health.

So, yeah, in an effort to improve my general health and well-being, I thought I’d get a subscription to a magazine my friend K. referred to as “Cosmo for men”. Well, I’ve read Cosmopolitan magazine and Men’s Health is not quite as bad, though I won’t be taking their advice on women any time soon. Maybe when I look like the cover models, and have girls that look like the eye candy in the articles showing up for breakfast, I’ll start taking that advice, but not any time soon. Until then, I’ll just keep relating to women like actual people and stick to the health and cooking articles.
I used to have a subscription, back in the day, before I got married to the Queen of the Damned. But, when she took offense at the dating advice articles, and the aforementioned eye candy that accompanied them, I let the subscription lapse. Now, though, I want to live, so, I think I’ll start reading it more carefully than I did then.
Also, toward the goal of being healthier, when I go to the grocery store later this week, I will buy their recommended, “keep on hand” grocery list, as shown below…
The Men’s Health Grocery List
Frozen Shrimp 1 lb uncooked, medium size
Rotisserie Chicken 1 cooked
Pork Tenderloin 1 herb-flavored or lemon-garlic marinated (about 3/4 lb)
Bell Peppers 1 tray tricolor (or pick out 1 red, 1 yellow, and 1 orange)
Yellow Onions 2 lb
Baby Mixed Greens 4 oz bag, washed
Portobello Mushrooms 2 large caps
Asparagus 1 bunch
Garlic 1 head
Sun-Dried-Tomato Pesto 8 oz jar
Avocado 1 ripe
Mozzarella 8 oz bag, shredded
Instant Brown Rice 1 lb box (except that I have a rice cooker and don’t need instant)
Black Beans 12 oz can
100% Whole-Wheat Fettuccine 16 oz box
10″ 100% Whole-Wheat Tortillas 1 package
The Pantry List (or, staples to supplement the main list)
“Buy these crucial building blocks every couple of months and you’ll always have them on hand to construct meals around the clock.”
Reduced-Fat Mayonnaise
Dijon Mustard
Low-Sodium Soy Sauce
Peanut Butter
Extra-Virgin Olive Oil
Balsamic Vinegar
Parmesan Cheese
Tabasco Or Other Hot Sauce

So, after I stock up, we’ll see how many things I can make from those. Oh, of course, I’ll add good, lean beef and assorted freshwater and deep sea fish to that list. As well as skim milk, coffee, red and white wine, better than average beer, eggs, turkey bacon, orange juice, whole-wheat bagels, and, naturally, breakfast cereal. I might get the Men’s Health cookbook, A Man, A Can, A Plan, too, since it’s one of my favorite columns.

And, to answer your questions before you ask them, I read Cosmo when I was in college working as a security guard at a women’s dorm. And, no, I don’t mind that Men’s Health is popular with gay men because of the cover models. I should be so lucky to look like that and have their attraction problems!

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
   --Helen Keller

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