It’s Wednesday
Just a short entry today.
I was tired last night and went to bed reasonably early, for me. Not sure if it’s the lack of cable or what, but I’ve just felt a little more tired this week. But, still, it’s Wednesday and time for, well, something. Some thought or some vague semblance of a statement about, well, something. Because it’s Wednesday and, if you look back at the last couple of months archives, you’ll see that the pattern is for me to post something on Wednesday. Or, more precisely, to post something every other Wednesday. That pattern of posting has become a promise of sorts. A promise of consistency to the small hand-full of readers who still show up to see what strange ramble, screed or rant I’ve thrown against the wall. Will it stick?
When I think about it, it bothers me a little that I’ve written so much here, but so few have read it. I suppose that my playing it safe and being careful what I write has lead to that steady decline in commentors, if not readers. Oddly enough, when I was in the middle of my divorce and not caring at all who saw my raw emotions was, perhaps, the hey-day of this blog, its peak. But, then, as I started to worry and fret over future employers seeing this blog and thinking that I might alienate them, or potential dates, via something that I wrote, my topics changed and got safer and my audience dwindled, or at least changed.
I don’t know what that all means, really, other than the fact that I’ve noticed it. Oh, thankfully, there are a few die-hard fans who stick with me, even through the boring, normal life periods like this one. If they hold on long enough they know that things will turn and I’ll get hooked up with a disgruntled house-wife looking to score some Hemingway or some Poe, maybe if I’m lucky, she’ll be looking for Lovecraft. Then things will get lively again with tales of being shot at by angry husbands or chased by dogs.
Or the cancer will come back and give me something to whine about.
Or some other horribly funny tragedy will befall me and compel me to write about it, much to the amusement of … Someone.
In the end, of course, I’d probably write this blog just to write. I don’t think I could keep from writing it, not even if I wanted to!
And, in the end, I suppose the compulsion to write is as good as any excuse to spit up these words on a page for everyone to read.
So, I’ve got that going for me.
Advice from your Uncle Jim:
You don't have to be a genius to succeed. You just have to be the cleverest monkey in the cage.
*hug* 🙂
Comment by Fiona — 9/24/2008 @ 5:30 am
Aw, garsh, thanks, Fiona. I guess I needed that. And, thanks for reading, even when I’m not being all emo.
Comment by the Network Geek — 9/24/2008 @ 6:44 am
I know how you feel. On one hand I find myself altering what I write because of some people who read my blog. On the other hand, it bugs me when people don’t read it. I get googled a lot for one time visitors, but they usually don’t stick. A few have, but not many.
I don’t find your blog boring, and I don’t really want to hear about you hurting. I would like to know what it was like for you the night the hurricant hit! You’ve written a lot about technical stuff, but what about the emotions. How was Hilda? Were you both frightened? What were the sounds and smells like? If you write it, I won’t ever have to live it to understand it! Just a suggestion. And it might give you cause to get creative.
Comment by Cheri — 9/24/2008 @ 12:03 pm
Your blogs are interesting and very informative. With all you’ve been through the last few weeks I totally get why you might be down. Think happy thoughts 🙂 I hope you continue to blog for a very long time!
Comment by Jenn — 9/24/2008 @ 3:37 pm
I just re-read my comment and it sounds really harsh. I don’t mean I don’t want to hear about you hurting, what I meant is I don’t read your blog just because of your troubles. I read your blog because you are an interesting complex person and I think you are interesting. Of course you should blog about hurting if you are hurting, but I don’t want you to hurt.
I’m sorry about the wording. I really didn’t mean any disrespect.
Comment by Cheri — 9/24/2008 @ 7:51 pm
No, worries, Cheri, I totally understood your first comment. I don’t really want to be hurting and have troubles to write about either, but it seems like when I’m hurting the most, my writing is the most authentic and most widely read.
But, thank you, and Jenn, too, for your words. It’s good to know that people are still reading.
Comment by the Network Geek — 9/24/2008 @ 8:49 pm
I think everyone who blogs go through these things. The posts I seem to get the most reaction to are the one where I’m pouring my heart out. I try not to do that very often because I view them as whiny. The rest of my posts get a smattering of comments. I root every day for my visitor count to be in double digits. 10 makes me happy, 9 not so much. But then I remind myself that I blog, because I have a driving need to do it. To shout out my thoughts to the world even if they go into a great silent void, and even if the thoughts are trivial and mundane (which they usually are).
Comment by laanba — 9/25/2008 @ 12:40 pm
Jim,
Not everyone who reads you comments all the time, but we are here nonetheless. Sometimes we read you just to be assured of sanity in a world mostly insane. BTW, that was a mighty lame rant, you know. After all you’ve been through, and are going through, you have a right to rant, and we, your friends, have the obligation, and are privileged, to listen and support you.
Warmest regards.
Comment by Larry — 9/25/2008 @ 9:31 pm
No, Larry, I think it is my privilege to have friends who read my rants, whether they comment or not. Thank you.
Laurie, you’re right. It’s just a phase. 😉
Comment by the Network Geek — 9/26/2008 @ 1:22 pm