Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.

1/26/2009

Sargasso

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Bavarian Death Cake of Love,Deep Thoughts,Geek Work,Life, the Universe, and Everything,Personal,Red Herrings — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Tiger which is terribly early in the morning or 5:45 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is a New Moon

The only sea without a shore…”

I feel stuck. And, honestly, even as I write that, it feels ungrateful.
It’s not as if I’m in a bad place or anything, but I feel a little stuck. Unable to move forward and equally unable to move back. I suppose part of it is just the time of year. The new year has just rolled by and I feel like I’m in the same place I was last year. That’s not true, of course, but it feels that way. I mean, I’ve got the same job and I’m still not in a long-term, intimate relationship and I’m still not being more productive, really. But, it’s not a bad place to be stuck, either. I have lots of close friends and I got a raise when a lot of people are losing their jobs. And, when I was married, it really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

Still, I feel like life is a little, well, empty. I just haven’t added much to my life this past year. Sure, I’ve been exercising more and feel better than I have in a long time, physically. And, I have been trying to be more creative via photography, but, well, I guess it really bothers me that I’ve been a whole year and don’t see much, if any, progress in my life. I’m just sort of treading water. Stuck.

Maybe I just need a couple of projects to work on. Something to work toward that will stretch me and my technical skills at work. Something that will push my creative skills in my private life. And, I keep trying to not think about relationships, since, well, everyone keeps telling me that when I stop looking that’s when I’ll find one. Not that that has ever made any sense to me, frankly, but, well, the way I’ve been doing it hasn’t worked too well, so, certainly I’ve got nothing to lose by not trying at all! Surely, it couldn’t go any worse!

Well, anyway, the past couple weeks, I’ve just been unmotivated to do anything much or write a lot for the blog and, hopefully, this post explains a little about why.


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
   --Douglas Adams

5 Comments

  1. I hear you man. I’m in the same place as you a lot. Don’t give up.

    Comment by redassaggie00 — 1/26/2009 @ 1:52 pm

  2. It’s sort of hard to put into words without getting all emo, you know? (Besides, I can also see who’s been reading my blog via a sweet plugin, so, you know, I’m being careful on going into too much information!)

    Comment by the Network Geek — 1/26/2009 @ 2:59 pm

  3. Jim,

    Try taking up piano. I did, at age 49, and I can tell you that it is very humbling, and quite a struggle to do late in life. However, when you finally get a piece of music right, and can play it to the satisfaction of both you and your teacher, the elation is real.

    Or, buy a motorcycle. My offer still stands.

    Ciao, pal.

    PS: Dirk and sarahD send their best.

    Comment by JerseyBoy — 1/26/2009 @ 9:43 pm

  4. What makes you happy these days ?

    Do them and do them and do them. If you do not feel productive, evaluate your definition of productive.

    Comment by im822 — 1/28/2009 @ 10:36 am

  5. I’ve thought about taking up the guitar. Guitar players get all the chicks, but funny guys never get laid. Curse my sense of humor!
    (Tell Dirk and sarah I say hello back at them.)

    And, yeah, I probably should redefine what I call “productive”, but, when I try to do what makes me happy, the girls just all run away. 😉
    Seriously, sometimes responsibilities and obligations stand in the way of just doing what makes me happy. I suppose I could throw convention to the wind and live out of a bus off the grid, but, well, that just doesn’t seem like a good long-term option to me.

    I have no answers, but, at least my questions seem to be getting a little better.

    Comment by the Network Geek — 1/28/2009 @ 10:47 am

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