Diary of a Network Geek

It was an interesting weekend.

So, Friday morning, I get to work within seconds of C. We park in different rows, but make it to the door about at the same time. I notice that her hands are full, so I wait a little longer than I normally would to hold the door for her.
“Wow, you’re wearing jeans for a change. It’s nice to see. You look good in jeans,” she tells me. Now, I’m not vain or concieted, but when I worked at the Front Desk, the black girls all complimented me on my ass. I may not have a lot going for me, but I do know I have a better than average ass for a white boy. I’m pretty sure that’s what she really meant.
“Um, I wear jeans every Friday, C. and have since you worked here.”
“Oh, I guess I never noticed before…”
Well, no shit. Who notices the quiet, polite, professional guy who looks you in the eye not the nipple? Who notices the guy that puts you on the prayer list at church because you’re obviously having trouble with the guy you’re dating and just can’t figure out that you should leave him, be alone and figure out who you really are instead of running from the tragic death of a high-school sweetheart? Apparently, not C. Go figure. Just call me Rodney Skinner. After work, I took my favorite, flirty strawberry-blonde out shopping and for Jack-in-the-Box 99¢ tacos. She might be a bitch, but she’s a cheap date. Hey, I’m talking about Hilda, my dog! C. has artificially enhanced red hair, unless I miss my guess.

So, then Saturday night after church, W. the former mechanic who now works with me and, in fact, is responsible for me having my current job, and K., J.’s former fiance, and I go out to sushi at Koto’s. W. and I have known her for quite awhile and I encouraged him to talk to her via e-mail, because I know she’s been a bit lonely and feeling a little out of the social scene at church. After she and J. broke it off, she got engaged again and that didn’t work out either, though for totally different reasons. She’s a very nice woman who invited me into her home the first Thanksgiving I was alone, the week after the Queen of the Damned left. In any case, they cooked up a dinner out, pre-planned, so that she wouldn’t feel suddenly trapped while everyone else got together and went out.
K. is on the Prayer Team with me at church. Actually, she invited me to join back when she and J. were still together. While we were waiting for everyone else to get together for our group prayer, she and I got pressed into service serving communion, which I had never done at this church before. I swear, when we got up to do it and found our place, J. and L. were staring and whispering about it. It may have been my imagination, but I swear I saw her look right at us then lean over to him and say… Well, something.
After church, we hung around a bit, while W. went and got a table at Koto’s. Apparently he knew the place quite well. Also, he speaks very fluent Japanese, which I’d forgotten. I think he might have been showing off for K., but I’m not sure. Either way, it was great sushi and rock bottom prices and I cannot reccomend it enough. We had a nice dinner, even though I was coughing pretty badly. And, my eyes were bigger than my stomache, so I ended up bringing home a bit of sushi for Hilda. Yes, my amazingly spoiled dog eats sushi, thank you very much!

Sunday, I did nothing and loved it.
This morning, though, W. tells me that K. “likes” me. Now, as a former fiance of perhaps my best friend, she’s automatically off-limits, but I have to admit, I am attracted to her. Still, he’s the second guy who’s seen us interact and said that. I’m starting to wonder if it’s not true. But, I really need it to not be true, and I told him so. His response?
“Well, at least she likes you a lot more than she likes me.”
Oh, God, help me!

Now, for the health update…
Got my chest x-ray this afternoon and got a call from the doctor about 6:00PM. Apparently, the x-ray showed no improvement, or not enough for the imaging center’s liking, so tomorrow morning, after I go see the phlebotomist, so they can check on my anemia, I’ll be off to get a CT scan. Apparently, it’s pretty gruesome.
And, I’m taking this very seriously now, because last night, I listened to a guy share at a men’s support group meeting I attend, about his inoperable cancer. The symptoms that he described going to see the doctor for? The exact same symptoms I ignored for months. Now, I don’t think I have cancer, but I do have a history of it in my family, on both sides, so that scared the shit out of me. No more screwing around, I promise, folks. Uncle Jim is taking it all very, very seriously now. Whatever the doctor says I need to do, I do.

I’ll give you more as I know more.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world."
   --John le Carre

So, you may have noticed that I haven’t posted anything since before Christmas.

Well, there’s a reason. I had actually planned to post something Christmas Day, but, well, I sort of lost heart. You see, my uncle, my father’s older brother, past away Christmas Eve. I got the call first thing Monday, Christmas Morning. It sort of put a damper on all the other stuff going on. I’ll be flying home tomorrow, thanks to very generous bereavement rates, for the funeral. The vet was all booked up, but I got a friend to let the dog out and make sure she’s got food and water, not that I expect her to really eat while I’m away. She’s funny like that.

It’s depressing, of course, to go to funerals. Though, mainly, funerals don’t bother me. I’m much more put off by mourners. I’m a little socially awkward to begin with and nothing’s quite so awkward as either trying to comfort someone who’s just lost their spouse or parent. At least, to me.
You see, I grew up with the idea of death. We talked about it at the dinner table. My grandmother, my father’s mother, lived with us from the time I can remember until she died, which was when I was still in college. She was quite comfortable talking about funeral arrangements for herself and all the related details. My father was one of the people with the AMA who coordinated the case work that went into the now famous On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. It’s not talked about much these days, but most of her raw data came from hospital chaplains and, apparently, that was something my father was involved with back then. One of my earliest memories is being told not to hang on the edge of the casket when I was trying to see my Great-Great-Grandpa Grosh, who died at the age of 99, when I was just a little, little kid. So, death in and of itself doesn’t bother me much at all. It’s just a part of life.
But, all the other stuff that goes along with death gets to me.

And, I have to admit, it occurred to me that, one day, perhaps soon, I’d be making a similar trip to bury one or both of my parents. That idea did not sit well with me at all. Apparently, even with all the childhood hours spent in and around funeral parlors and hospitals, I had managed to repress the idea that they’d be suffling off this mortal coil eventually.  This, though, brought it all home.  And, it makes my father the eldest living Hoffman.

In any case, that’s where I’ll be Friday and through New Year’s Eve.  Well, actually, I’ll be flying back into Houston New Year’s Eve, but I’m quite sure I won’t be celebrating at all.  Then, after things settle down a bit, I’ll get in touch with the girl from Match.com with whom I broke a date Tuesday because, frankly, with all this, I wasn’t going to be very good company.  She was sweet, though, and I look forward to meeting her in person, eventually.  Since she was born in China, I suspect I’ll be getting to know some new haunts with her, especially in our Chinatown.  Hey, I didn’t even know that Houston had a Chinatown!

Oh, and another bit of good news: The groom with cold feet, J., who will be watching my dog, has been talking to L., his once and future fiance.  And, she’s already taken the ring back.  They’re going slower this time, though, which I think is probably a good thing for both of them.  Still, I’m very happy that these two are back together.  Crazy as they both might be sometimes, they’re still perfect for each other.

Well, I’ll queue a Friday Fun Link post, but I won’t be active on-line until I get back Sunday night.  Enjoy the weekend.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket."
   --Frank Hubbard

“…and Cupid has his camps.” -Ovid

So, as per usual in my alleged love life, I face an uphill battle.
C.’s divorce is final, but she already had a boyfriend, as I mentioned in an earlier post. Well, maybe not so much any more, in part, I’m afraid, due to me. Allow me to explain…

C.’s divorce was final Monday, so I called her to see how she was doing. I remember what it was like going through my divorce and, even though I didn’t have to actually deal with my ex-wife, it was quite draining. I was, emotionally speaking, a little bit like a wrung out dish rag that’s been dropped in a heap. Oh, sure, I was elated at being free of her, but, still, it was a very trying and stressful process. So, maintaining the clever fiction that I’m a “nice guy”, I called to check on her. Now, before you go reading too much into that, I had her number when I thought I’d be adopting her dog. Whoops! Getting ahead of myself!

In any case, we talk for a good thirty minutes or more. She starts by thanking me for calling then to ask if I mind if her former sister-in-law takes the dog. Turns out she suggested that they make them the offer months ago, but her ex never acted on it. At least, not until he found out that some strange man at his ex-wife’s office (ie. me) was going to adopt the dog. When he found that out, suddenly, his sister or sister-in-law or whatever seemed like a better idea. C., however, hadn’t made that connection, until I pointed it out to her.
So, we’re talking away, and, as per usual these days, I have her laughing out loud on a regular basis, when she says, “Um, I better take this call.”
“Oh?” I reply.
“Yeah, he’s calling back. I clicked over to talk to you and never went back to him.”
“Yikes, yeah, I guess you’d better take it. See you tomorrow at work!”

The next day, I stopped to apologize if I got her into trouble with her jealous, short-tempered boyfriend. Well, I didn’t put it like that, but I was thinking it. Her response lead me to believe that it was almost over and he was on very, very thin ground. And, as well he should be. They’re long-distance and either he has to make up his mind that she’s trustworthy or let go and move on. Just like I did when I was first dating my ex-wife. Of course, she was a whole lot more likely to be cheating on me than C., but, that’s a whole different story.
Well, I decided to more or less act like nothing had happened and keep up my normal flirtatious behavior with her. After all, I figured I was getting closer to being “in”, as it were. On the way out about 5:20pm, I found C. still at her desk writing e-mail to her future ex-boyfriend. I know that because she told me that’s what she was doing when I asked why she was working late. So, naturally, I apologized again for any trouble I caused and offered to make it up to her with, oh, say, dinner… For that, I was rewarded with a sly grin, a giggle, a blush and the sudden loss of eye contact.

Now, ladies, you tell me, is that a good thing? I sort of read that as the reaction of a shy person who was getting a bit more polite attention than she was used to getting. Do you think I’m reading it wrong?

Then, this morning, she seemed to be back together with him. Not quite sure what I was missing, but, if I were a woman with kids and a guy started bossing my kids around, but we weren’t living together, that’d be a big strick against him. So would not being able to pay his own bills at the age of 36. Or the trust issues that he seems to have. Or making the statement that he “wouldn’t ever kiss a woman’s a** for any reason”. ‘Cause I have to tell you, having been married, there were plenty of times I did stupid stuff that required a whole lot of kissing up afterward. Granted, I may not have done quite enough, but it should be a two-way street. My father agreed with me, heartily, on a speaker phone in front of my mother. He didn’t even hesitate.

So, as always, I’ve gone back to my bookshelf to find what Uncle Jim’s Magical Library had on the subject. What I found were two books that survived my marriage, interestingly enough, called Love Tactics and More Love Tactics.
Now, before you scoff, these are the techniques I used to get my ex-wife. Hmm, yeah, okay, maybe that’s not the best endorsement ever, but they don’t talk about picking a target, only achieving your goal. And, for good or ill, they did help me do that. Incidentally, the techniques would work for either a man or a woman, as far as I know, even though it’s meant mostly for men. You ladies may recognize a few of the “rules” though. You know, the kinds of things you have been doing to men since time began. “Be available, until they get used to you being available, then suddenly don’t be for a bit.” That kind of thing. Frigtheningly effective, really. So, we’ll see how it goes.

Oh, incidentally? When I told my parents about the books? They laughed, but my father said, in essence, “go get her”. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree after all.

UPDATE:  Now, apparently, there’s a website by the author of the Love Tactics books called, ironically enough, LoveTactics.com.  And, it’s got an endorsement by Oprah, so you know it’s got to be good!

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
Knowing that something is the right thing doesn't always make it easy to do, but that's not an excuse.

A cigarette sure would taste good about now.

So, as my regular readers know, I missed my NaNoWriMo goal by a factor of about, oh, 10 or so. I managed just under 5,000 words of the 50,000 goal. So, in that sense, it was a total failure. However, that was 5,000 more words of fairly not terrible fiction than I’ve written in, well, in a very, very long time. So, in that sense, it at least got me writing some more. (You can see the drivel I managed to produce at my other blog, Fantasist’s Scroll.) What I learned from all this is that working 10 to 12 hour days and weekends does not make for a good writing schedule. I just wish I had more to show for all that work than I do.

You see, after a good two-and-a-half weeks of soul-crushing, mind-numbing work, I still have “issues” with our new phone system and voice and internet provider. The main issue with the new phone system is voice-mail. The phone switch itself, a Nortel BCM 400, is actually quite nice, as far as I’m concerned. Loads of features, quite easy to use and, once you get used to the interface, easy enough to manage. It also came with some nice tools that I can use to monitor the switch from my PC via my network. Now, granted, we have an issue with one of the cabinets having a bad backplane, but, once I moved those cards to the second media cabinet, it seemed to stabilize quite nicely. Of course, I’ll be going in to the office for a bit tomorrow to check on things to make sure it’s still running okay, but I’m fairly confident that all will be well.
The “problem” I have with the new CallPilot voice-mail system is, well, mainly that it’s new. And it has new, different options and menus. Yeah, pretty much, that’s the only “problem”. It works differently than the old system and the boss doesn’t like that. *sigh* So, now I have to try and salvage that end of things. I’m hoping that I can get some kind of work around that I can program into the phone switch to make it more like the old system, but, as of right now, the biggest problem with the new phone system is that it’s new.

The data end of things, however, is a different story. Since about two of my readers actually care about this, I’ll sum it up for you. The salesman told me that I’d be able to do something with e-mail that we do on our current provider and, today, I found out that we simply cannot do that unless we have our own server. Eventually, we will have our own server, but, until then, I can’t have a feature that my boss, the president of the company, sees as essential to his business taken away from him. It simply won’t fly.
And, if that’s not enough reason to be suddenly craving a good smoke, there’s more in my personal life.

So, there’s that girl…
You know, over the years, I’ve noticed a pattern of sorts with the “problems” in my personal life. The problem always starts “Well, there’s this girl…” The fact that I’m days away from being 38 years old hasn’t changed that much, though the “girls” have gotten older, too.
In any case, it’s been a long, long time since a woman got to my like this one. I can’t explain it. It’s not a sex thing, honest. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’d be happy to find her eating crackers in my bed, but there’s something about her that’s special. She’s just the right mix of crazy and conservative. Very professional at work, but, after showing her my tattoos, she confessed that she had two as well. I haven’t seen them yet, but, maybe someday. I can’t get enough of the way her dark eyes light up when I make her laugh. When I see her, I want to wrap my arms around her and hold her close just to feel her warm reality pressed against me. I want to confess secrets into her perfect, little ears and feel her cool fingers warm in my hand. I want to make her blush and fluster her with subtlety of my flattery. And she reads. Oh, God help me, she reads books for fun at lunch! Every frustrated writer’s dream! A reader to love and a lover who reads all in the same person.
So, what’s the problem? Well, aside from a divorce that will be final Monday, and an 11-year-old daughter that I think I already charmed, and an 8-year-old son I haven’t met, and the dog I’m about to adopt from her, just one. Her misogynistic, ex-Marine boyfriend who’s also a single dad and in college. (UPDATE: Okay, upon reflection, that may have been an extremely biased judgement that was partly based on desire and single-malt Scotch, but, still…)  I don’t know, though, things sound rocky. Besides, I’m the one she trusts to take the dog. And, she made some hint about being “forever friends” if I took him, since she’d want to see him again.
You know what? I think I could live with that, but, it sure makes me crave a cigarette. I always used to smoke while I waited for things to happen.

I’m not going to, though. Smoke that is. No, instead, I’ll mumble a prayer and have another Glenmorangie and water on the rocks. As I told one of my favorite bloggers last year at my birthday, I don’t drink much anymore, but I always drink the good stuff.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."

Wherein my little, male ego takes a bit of bruising.

So, the sweet, almost-divorced lady at work, C., gave what little male ego I have left a little battering yesterday. She compared me to Milton in Office Space. Apparently, all the extra hours getting our phone system upgraded to a new, modern phone switch had me mumbling rather like Milton, who famously grumbled about blowing up the building and his red Swingline stapler. To her credit, she quickly added that I didn’t look like Milton.
Obviously, I don’t think I’m anything like Milton.

Honestly, and I think this is true of most guys my age who do my kind of work, I saw myself as somewhere between Mathew Broderick’s character in War Games and Robert Redford’s character in Sneakers. Okay, maybe I’m pushing it with Reford, but, still, Milton? I mean, at least the other two guys got the girl!
Really, the most realistic comparison, is Peter in Office Space. I mean, I have five bosses and everyone in the company tells me when anything is going wrong with the computer system. My ex-wife’s name was Anne, just like Peter’s girlfriend, and she was cheating on me, too. Even at my current company I got moved from cube to cube until I had no view. Though, I have to admit, I did actually end up with my office in the storage room. Kind of sad, isn’t it? My office used to be one of two storage rooms and now it’s the server room, too. No windows and not enough A/C.  But, still, I’ve got to have more going for me than Milton!  I have people skills!  (If you’ve seen the movie, you get that line.)

Well, I suppose it could have been worse.  At least she didn’t compare me to Nick Burns!
All that and I still may end up adopting her dog because her ex doesn’t want it and I have a soft heart, especially for dogs.  Oh, and her divorce should be final December Fourth.  No idea if she even finds me remotely attractive, but, well, if she’s comparing me to Milton…

Too long between updates…

Now, for the two or three of you who actually seem interested in my sad, little personal life, here are some updates.
First, I heard from LK for the first time in months this past week. She’s moved to Colorado and has investors and capital for her business. If I understood her story correctly, she made the decision to move in less than a month and has been there about three weeks now. The good news is that her business is doing fabulously well. The bad news is that she finally had to put her faithful companion of fourteen years down right before she moved. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been for her. I can’t imagine loseing my Hildagard now, much less after another ten years. I wish I’d known, so that I could have been there to help her with that, but… Well, I guess times change.
I have to say that I was quite shocked to hear about the move. I know I certainly couldn’t have made that large a decision in such a short time. I hope it all works out well for her.

Second, I finally have the full, complete title to my house! After more than a year of the divorce being final, the lawyers finally got all the paperwork fixed and the house is titled solely in my name. They had to get my ex to sign a second warranty deed, which got filed in Arizona, after they lost the first one she signed. So, there’s the second surprise of the week.

Thirdly, I’ve written about as many words for NaNoWriMo as most people might be short right now. If I were to calculate it, I’d bet that I’m about 15,000 words behind the projected goal for the month. In short, as I suspected this year, it will be almost impossible to accomplish this goal. But, it’s not a total loss, since I’ve written more words of fiction in the past two weeks than I have all year. So, while I’ll most likely miss the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words before the end of the month, I’ll still see quite a bit of benefit from that effort.

Fourth…
Well, the fourth thing is a two-part answer. It’s work, mainly. Work has been busy and crazy and long hours, which drains me beyond belief these days and makes it hard to find the energy to write. But, also, there’ve been some personnel changes.
Now, that means two things to me. First, of course, it means setting up machines and users and all that junk on servers. In some cases, it means undoing things left behind on machines. This time, though, it means a bit more than that.
There were two women who weren’t quite as productive as one would like let go and three hired. Two to replace the two who were fired and one new hire for a new position. All three ladies are better looking than the ones who were let go. And one in particular, we’ll call her C., caught my eye. I don’t know quite how old she is, but close to my age. She’s got an eight-year-old and a ten-year-old. She’s a writer, though she writes very different things than I do. She’s also very pretty and, apparently, still a little married. Yeah, yeah, I know. See, ladies, it’s not just you who fall for the married ones! I don’t get this at all, but the married ones all seem to find me like iron filings find a magnet. Go figure. Anyway, I had to work on C.’s computer a lot this week and got a lot of positive signals. I did my best to be ultra professional, which meant a lot of very direct eye contact. In retrospect, that may have been sending the precise signal I was hoping to muffle. Ah, well…
At one point, she asked me if I knew what I wanted out of dating, since she knew I’d been divorced for a bit. Maybe I read a bit into it, but it seemed like a signal to me, a sign.
But, I’ll tell you this, I sure don’t want to have the whole office in on anything. Those nosy bastards would be gossiping about us all the damn day. So, now, I’m torn between just ignoring the whole thing, since it’s at work, and trying to find a very discrete way to let her know I’m interested if she is and find out more about the state of her divorce. Until then, I’ll do my best not to notice how nice her hair smells or how comfortable she seems to be in close quarters with me. *gulp* Thoughts? Suggestions?

Well, time for some comfort food before bed. It’s going to be a long week.

Okay, now I know for sure I’ve had enough of this.

So, I’m rushing out of the office to get home, let the dog out, change clothes and get back in the car to scramble to my friend’s, J.’s, birthday party when I get a “private number” calling on my cell. I have a simple rule with that stuff, namely, “no ID, no answer”. Then, I get a text from ER girl.

“Your vm cut me off…”
Getting network busy
“Weird…”
Yeah In car What’s up?
“Yes was just trying to call you back”

From last night? I think. Little late for that, don’t you think? So, when I pull into the driveway, I call her. We’ve got terrible reception and I have a hard time making out what she’s trying to tell me. Also, I’m trying to get the dog to go out and “take care of business” before I run out to fight traffic to the opposite end of town for the party. And, honestly, I’m irritated that she thinks it’s okay to skip a prearranged meeting, even if it was just on the phone, so that she can interrupt my schedule later at her convenience. I guess it didn’t occur to her that I set that call up for Thursday night for a reason. Also, when I’m trying to get out the door and do two other things at once, I kind of lose all patience with poeple that don’t seem to be acting with a purpose. And, by that I mean I can be a bit of an ass. Again, I know this and that’s why I scheduled the call at a more relaxed time. So, we agree to meet for lunch Sunday, even though I’m really not sure it’s a good idea at this point. Still, I’m willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, so I’m willing to risk the small investment of time and lunch.
Just to make sure she knows everything’s still okay, I send her this, via the Match.com e-mail system:

Sorry, I was so short before. Trying to get dog out before I got changed and went out again. How late should I call tonight? Or should I just try you tomorrow?

Then, I change my shoes and head out to fight traffic. The party was good, and maybe I’ll write up a post about that some time this weekend, while I do laundry.
But, when I get home, I have first this e-mail:

“I will b up fairly late call anytime b4 1am”

Then this one:

“How was the party? I’m just online replying to emails. I got a very nasty email from one man who said I lied about my profile. He told me I shouldn’t have said I’m a few extra pounds because he thought I was too big for his taste.

I asked several men and women what I should list and they said a few extra pounds because i’m closer to that than full-figured. But then some people said full-figured is the same as a few extra pounds.

Anyway, I leave it up to you. If you prefer thin or atletic women, let me know. I don’t want you to waste an afternoon meeting up for lunch. If you’re familiar with women’s sizes, I’m a size 16.”

And, with that, I was done.
Honestly, well before this point, I’d figured out that she wasn’t exactly tiny, but that’s not really the point. I mean, I carry a little more extra weight than I’d like, so I’m pretty open-minded about the same thing in anyone I might date. But, again, she’s putting me off, and, in my mind, telling me that I’m, at best, her second or third choice. And, this is going to make me want to go out with her how? I guess it’s part of that new math in relationships that I missed somewhere in the past ten years or so… Really, it’s not about the weight, or even that things kept “coming up”. I’m just tired of doing this particular dance with this particular partner. I think I’d rather sit this one out, so, I replied with:

The party was fine, thanks for asking. My friend, who was the birthday boy, and his girl-friend announced they were getting married. I’ve known for a bit, but it was supposed to be a secret.

I’d like to think that I’m more concerned with who a person is than what size they are. Besides, I’m not exactly a “light-weight” either.
Honestly, after missing the pre-arranged call time last night, I was going to pretty much call off anything on Sunday. You’ve put me off several times and, while I’m pretty forgiving and patient, after setting a time that I was going to call and not being there… Well, that was about it. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and follow through, just in case my first impression was really off, but, frankly, it seems like a pattern.
I also found it less than promising that you didn’t seem to be able to read all of the first few, short, e-mails I sent and we had to go over and over the same questions and answers. I felt like you thought I wasn’t really worth your time. I’m no Nobel-prize winning super-model, but I think I’m worth paying a minimum of attention.

We’re both busy people and I feel like we’re wasting each other’s time at this point, so maybe it would be best if we just called it near miss and moved on. No harm, no foul.

I’m sure you’ll find the right guy for you out there, somewhere, but I don’t think I’m it.
I’m sure someone, somewhere, will take me to task for something I’ve written there, but, really, enough is enough. I had a better time joking with the married couple, gay choir director and the red-headed federal probation officer I was sitting with at dinner tonight than any conversation I’ve had, or can even imagine having, with ER girl. (Actually, the probation officer is kind of cute and she volunteers for the Miniature Schnauzer Rescue, which I think is pretty cool.)

At the time of writing this post, I haven’t heard back from ER girl. I’m not sure that I even will, given her history of communication. I don’t know, do you all think I over reacted? Do I need more patience than that? Or, should I stick to my standards of basic courtesy? LK sure didn’t seem to have a problem with these kinds of things. Even my ex-wife managed this much, at least when we were dating. It doesn’t seem like so much to ask to me.

(Note: This “post” was written over the space of two long waits in airports after gliding through easy and over-hyped security.)

08/11/06

Well, there wasn’t any free wifi at the airport that I could find, even using a cool new tool I found for Linux called Wifi-Radar. Super slick little proggie that scans for available open wifi networks and automagically attaches you to the network of your choice. Pretty cool. Anyway, security was a breeze. As usual, the blood-sucking, bottom-feeders in the alarmist media totally overhyped the delays. I got Hilda checked in, stopped for gas and slipped into the Park-N-Fly by about 10:45 AM. The shuttle got me to the airport no later than 11:15AM and I was checked in and through security in less than 20 minutes. That’s with an eTicket and a driver’s license that still has my last name misspelled with an extra letter. You’d think that would raise a red flag, right? Hell, it doesn’t even raise a damn eyebrow.

Feeling extra secure yet? So, we hear all kinds of stuff about how bad security is going to be, but, as far as I could see, the only thing added to security was that they were restricting fluids on the plane. Yeah, so, no drinks through security, which, of course, means that everyone was buying drinks in the terminal. I didn’t look at how much I was gouged for my bottle of water and masked the whole cost with a couple of magazines. No Maxim, though. Just PopSci, Scientific American, Men’s Health and Real Simple. You know, I may end up getting a subscription to Real Simple instead of Dwell. It’s more my style. Not quite so avant-garde and infinitely less expensive. I was very glad to have gotten my iPod back, though. And, I even managed to sync all of Tristan und Isolde to it before I took off in the morning. Sadly, I didn’t have quite enough time to create a playlist that let me listen to the entire opera in order, but, still, I have it in there. According to iTunes, I have almost three days worth of continuous music on my Nano. Based on the silly media hype, it sounded like I’d need it, so, I was thrilled.

The one interesting thing was that I was almost on the news. No, not because I tried to sneak something dangerous on the plane. Though, God knows, I have done just that so many times it really makes me question the supposed security training they give those TSA agents. Anyway, there was some cute, Hispanic news chic there with her cameraman interviewing passengers about the virtually non-existent security delays and they saw my “Sunguard Secure, Disaster Recovery Experts” shirt. Right away the camera guy is all “So are you a disaster recovery expert?” and I start laughing at them both. I explain that, yes, I am an IT disaster recovery expert, but not the kind they were looking for. Oh, sure, I could have gone on TV and made a credible security expert, but that’s mainly because I’m well read and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about security for IT, which includes physical security, not because I’m a real anti-terrorist expert. But, why? Why the hell would I want to have my mug all over the TV news? I hate them, the alarmist fear-mongers always whipping the mass of unwashed humanity into a damn frenzy. Idiots. They’re not journalists anymore, just talking heads. It’s all about jumping on that fear-hype bandwagon, not about reporting real information that people can actually learn something from anymore. I don’t know, maybe it’s time to get a subscription to a local paper again. Ha! “A” local paper, that’s funny, isn’t it? It’s either the Chronicle or an out of town paper, like the Chicago Tribune or the Wall Street Journal. Oh, well, it’s almost all bad news anyway….

08/14/06

Well, here I am again, killing time in an airport waiting for my flight after breezing through security. I can’t tell if it’s just the media blowing things so far out of proportion or just people stupid enough to argue with the TSA agents and trying to break the rules. Honestly, I think it’s the TV news media who have to justify their existance by whipping everyone into a frenzy about the terrorists who weren’t even on US soil. Sure, I’ll grant you, getting blown up in a plane would really ruin my travel plans, but we’ve been living with this since 9/11 and, frankly, I think it’s about time we just adjust to higher security than we used to have. I mean, really, compared to most of the world, we’ve been skating along pretty free and easy. They’ve been dealing with terrorists in Europe for years and the British were more relaxed about this last incident than we were, even though it was their countrymen that were going to be blown up! This is just going to be a fact of life from now on. We need to get past the panic and fear and make our adjustments and move on with our lives, otherwise the terrorists have already won. So, in any case, I glided through security, in spite of not shaving, having a scruffy goatee and being loaded down with electronics. I guess it helps to just blank your face and go with the flow. Not like I have a choice, after all, so I might as well just accept the process and go with it. Seems to make things a lot easier. So, crazy security concerns aside, I had a good visit with the family.

Turns out, my parents were wrong and I wasn’t going to be presenting my nephew with his Eagle award, but it really did seem to mean a lot to him that I was there. Actually, it seemed to mean a lot to everyone to see me. I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised, but I never realized how important I was to my family. Of course, I spent some time setting up my parent’s new laptop and transferring settings and files over from the old one. I first thought that I’d be able to do that via a USB thumb drive, but there was just a little too much there to get onto a single one gig drive, so I had to use the network cable and crossover adapter that I’d brought with me. Good thing I have a little bit of experience being an IT consultant on the road and thought to bring some “extra” stuff I probably wouldn’t need, just in case. Sadly, I forgot to bring the copy of Word that I had for Mom and scratched the first CD of the Works install set, so I’ll have to ship them the CD and walk Mom through the install. Oh, the funny thing about her new laptop is the wireless connection. I cranked up that laptop and found five or six networks in the area with at least two that were unsecured, so I used that to piggy-back to the Internet. I think that ease of use just about convinced her to invest in broadband at their new house when the finally move in. They already have digital phone service through their cable, so I’m pretty sure they’d get a discount on the Internet connection, too. That along with a wireless router would really have them in the modern age of computing. And, I think they’d use their laptop more. Well, at least, Mom would. Dad mainly tells her what he wants and sends her off to do it, but he thinks he’s pretty high-tech, which is kind of funny. Actually, if you ever met either of my parents, it’d amuse you think of either of them being all that high-tech.

Though, somehow, they turned out at least two of us that make our living via technology. That’s just one of many things my brother and I have in common, though… It was nice talking with him some, though, I think we both wouldn’t have minded talking more. Eleven years apart and a vast difference in life experience, but we’re still the same in so many ways. Sadly, we both have many of the same things to fight through and over come. Both shy, each in our own way. Soft-spoken, but determined and, often, very single-minded of purpose. I honestly think that my brother has a PhD. because someone told him he couldn’t do it. We’re funny that way. Sometimes, that’s an asset, but not always.
Still, we often have very similar political views and, talking with my sole niece, Rachel, I was surprised to see how well our philosophies about kids meshed. That “little” girl has grown into quite a young woman. Just barely fifteen, but almost as tall as I am and, thankfully, looking more like her mother every day. I sat with her after her brother’s Eagle Ceremony and talked with her a bit, since I realized I didn’t really know her that well these days. The boys all center on me like iron filings on a magnet and that often seems to leave little room for Rachel. The last time I was home, she spent most of the time with Allison, my former step-daughter, and I didn’t get to talk to her. In any case, I took the opportunity to chat with her about a lot of different things, including driving, boys and her future plans. She didn’t have a boyfriend right now, but she’s already had two, which, at fifteen seemed like a good, slow start. She broke up with the last one, she told me, because he’d been smoking marijuana. Smart girl. Already learned that guys who smoke enough dope lose all motivation and ambition. It’s not just a stereotype. So, she was single, but didn’t seem in a big hurry to find the next guy, which I though was a good attitude, too. When I asked her about school and ideas for a career, she told me she wanted to go into nursing. Like I said, smart girl. It’s a good field and she has the right kind of personality for nursing. Even at fifteen, she was worried about her poor, old Uncle Jim standing when everyone else was sitting at the reception. I was glad for the chance to sit and talk with her. I just wish Allison had more of an opportunity to know her former cousin. I think Rachel would have been a good influence on her. Ah, well, maybe they’ll reconnect one day. Stranger things have happened.

Her little brother, Michael, my youngest nephew, is a whole different animal. This poor kid has no small amount of adversity to overcome. As a little guy, he got repeated ear infections and is, as I recall, legally deaf. But, since he was very small, he’s worn a hearing aid in each ear and does quite well. He has a very slight speech impediment, but he seems to make up for that with enthusiasm and volume. He certainly has no trouble making himself understood when he wants to get a point across! But, he also has a fairly rare back and spine condition that will require him to wear an obviously uncomfortable back brace for most of the next three years. He’s a good kid and doesn’t complain much when his parents tell him to get his brace back on, but it can’t be something he likes to do. I don’t know if any of the kids at school give him trouble for it, but I think his mother has already given her permission to pop the little wiseasses if they do sound off. And, if I ever hear about any grief, I tell you, Mike will have a mean uncle from Texas coming up to crack a couple of skulls for him. He’s a good boy and puts up just a tiny fuss at having to deal with all his physical troubles. And, in spite of all his reasons to be unhappy, I’d say he’s the most gregarious and, well, “jolly” of all my nephews. Always smiling and laughing and joking, even when irritation occasionally creases his forehead, it sure doesn’t cloud his world for very long at all. I know quite a few adults that could learn thing or two from this young man.

Then, there was my “redneck nephew”, as I like to call him.
John Dwight is a big kid. He looks slow and ponderous and even sounds a little thick, but he’s not. He’s a smart kid who lives in a town that doesn’t put much stock into “book learnin'” and it shows. Mainly, I think he’s just not very motivated. I think he sees the futility of his situation. He can only go so far in that little town outside of Rockford, Illinois. After that, if he wants more and bigger opportunities, he’ll have to leave. Based on how his mother and father have dealt with that decision, I doubt he’ll leave. Though, he is talking about enlisting in the military. He claims he wants to be a sniper, but with less than perfect vision, I think that’s not going to quite work out for him. He likes to work on cars, though, and seems to think he can bide his time waiting for the sniper program while being a mechanic. I don’t think he understands the military enough to know that once he starts as a mechanic, he’s likely to stay a mechanic, but, at least he’ll have a skill and a way to make a good living after mustering out. It would be a good way for hime to go.
He shadowed me for most of the time I was working on my Mom’s new laptop. I think partly because he wants to get a shiny, new laptop himself, but also because he’s interested. I talked with him about what I was doing and promised to send him one of the super cheap 1 Gig USB thumb-drives I’d found at MicroCenter and was using. He seemed genuinely excited about that. I’ll send that to him after I get back along with a Knoppix CD, so he can learn a little Linux. If he learns Linux and is still interested, I might send him an old Dell laptop with Redhat or Novell’s free OpenSuSE loaded on it. That would be another direction he could go. A little military experience and a couple of professional certifications and he could really go far.

Finally, my oldest nephew and godson, Bill…
As I write this, he’s on his way to his first year of college. He’ll be a Physics Major at Purdue University. Kid’s going to be a genius PhD, like his father. He has a girlfriend, Jenny, who’s nice enough, but tries a little too hard to be liked. When she forgets to work at it and relaxs, though, she’s a nice kid. Bill and I had a little talk on Friday night when his family came over for dinner. (Mom made “creole chicken”, a soulfood recipie that my grandmother picked up on the Southside of Chicago.) He’s so much like his father that it’s almost scary. I was touched Saturday when I figured out that he really just wanted me at the ceremony because he missed his Uncle Jim. I made sure to give him my cell number and told him he could call for anything but bail money. I hope he takes me up on the offer. I gave him the best advice I could for a Freshman going into that big, wide world of college. “Never go into a weekend without twenty bucks and a condom.” I explained that to him, but those stories will have to wait for another time on the blog. My plane is boarding, so I’m shutting down the laptop. Next stop, Houston!

Update:
Made it home safe and sound. Got my poor Hilda from the vet today. Apparently she barely ate, hid from the “keepers” and generally trusted no one. On the upside, she did learn to use the “doggie door” really well! That’s where she ran to get away from the people who were supposed to pamper her. *sigh* She wouldn’t even eat her home-made treats. Apparently, she just didn’t trust the kenel staff enough to take even the yummiest of muffins from them. (In fact, they said they smelled so good they almost ate some themselves!) She was so excited to see me, I could barely get her car harness on her. She wolfed food when we got home. And treats. And attacked a new rawhide chewie bone I’d gotten her. Well, she’s like her old dad, doesn’t trust anyone new and is loyal to a fault. She’s my dog, sure enough.
Glad to be home. And, finally, after all this time and all this trouble, this is home.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
   --George Elliot

Flyer, take warning.

So, I’m about to scramble out the door to make sure I have enough time to get through security this morning.  Why?  Well, if you haven’t been watching the news, some damn Limey whack-jobs decided they were going to try and blow up planes headed for the US today. What that means, though, is that for the first time in a very, very long time, we’re on a red-fucking travel alert.  They’re so serious about this that they’ve even banned any kind of liquid as part of your carry-on bags.  No water, no drinks, no nothing.  Fucking terrorists.

So, now, I get to scramble the dog into the vet and rush my ass off to the airport so I can get through security and sit and wait for fucking hours before my flight.  You know why the damn terrorists are expecting to find paradise filled with virgins?  Because these fucking damn lame sons-of-bitches have their fundamentalist heads so far up their terrorst asses that they couldn’t possibly be smart enough to reproduce!  Pardon my religious intolerance, but I just don’t understand the rationale for killing innocent civilians to prove a fucking political point.  Do they really think it gets them any kind of sympathy?  Do I sound fucking sympathetic to their damned cause this morning?

Well, once I’m through security, if I can get a wifi link out, I’ll post about how easy or hard it was to get through security.  At least, I know I’ll be more or less safe on the plane now.

Fucking, dumb-ass terrorists.

So, last night I baked her cookies.

What? It’s not like I’m dating anyone, so I don’t have anyone to cook for right now. Okay, so I ran out to the store to get a couple of ingredients that I was missing, but, I’d have done that for a girl, too. I mean, running out at midnight for feminine hygiene products is way more effort than just going to the grocery store for some honey and unsalted peanuts to make cookies for my dog and I did that. Heck, I even had to guess and pick out a yeast infection medication for a woman I hardly knew! And, that was before I married her. So, for my loyal dog? You bet I’ll run and get honey. Besides, the cookies are pretty good. And, yes, they’re another Three Dog Bakery recipe. This time, though, they’re from the Three Dog Bakery Cookbook.

Oh, and I got my iPod back just in time to travel later this week. I’ve already synced my music to it and updated it successfully, so I’m feeling pretty good about killing time in the airport with my Nano and a couple of books. I did notice that the software update has the stuff for the Nike iPod attachment. If you haven’t checked that out, it’s worth looking at. They’ve got the ultimate running accessory there!

Not sure when I’ll get more posting done this week, with all the travel and baking and all. Though, I have a Friday Fun Post all queued up and ready for you while I’m away.
Have a great week and I’ll “see” you when I get back on Monday!