Diary of a Network Geek

I see a trend here…

Okay, you loyal readers know that I am out there in the great, big world of dating again. You also know by now that I’m an observer of human nature and see things from a slightly skewed point of view. So, keeping both those things in mind, go read the two articles I’m about to link to: A Week of Picking Up Men and A Week of Picking Up Women.

Back? Great! Did you notice what I did? There were only two places that these two people both went looking for a potential date: the gym and the park/dog park. And, yes, I think there is a substantial difference between the park and a dog park, but it’s close enough for my purposes. Is it any wonder we have trouble meeting people? We go through our single lives, in theory always ready to find “true love”, but rarely looking in the same places. Or, is that just very clever strategy?
The woman went searching for places where men could show off for her, or where they’re “in their element”, so to speak. Of course, some of that assumes the stereotype of men being emotionally closed off and only able to communicate via sports or hardware. Or, maybe, that’s just the type of man this particular woman prefers. In any case, she tends toward a setting where she’s, basically, on men’s theoretical turf.
Notice, in contrast, that the man put himself, generally, in situations where either he was one of the few men available, or where women would have their guard down already. Even at the gym, he sought out a class that was entirely women. Also, notice how he started out hitting on a girl who clearly thought he was too old for her? Does that happen a lot? Somehow, I’m betting it does.
Oh, and did you notice where he had the most trouble? The bookstore! Which, as you might remember, is where my therapist sent me to try and find a date. What did this guy say about that? Basically, that I’d either have to be an idiot or have a lot of chutzpah to pull it off. Okay, that explains my “success rate” at Borders!

So, since most of my readers are of the female variety, do you have any suggestions for a poor schlub like me dangling his bait in shark infested waters?

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
   --Arnold Glasgow

Please note: I am not now, nor have I ever been, a trained killer.

I mention this right up front because;

• I have been accused of being such a person
• I’m about to write about killing

Now, as you may recall, I have purchased a 4 Gig iPod Nano. I love my little music-maker, even if it’s in the shop at the moment. I have been quietly ripping many, many CDs and syncing them to my beloved, precious iPod. But, I had no idea that my little, friendly iPod Nano could turn deadly. Apparently, I don’t get out enough because this article over at Gizmodo really woke me up to the deadliness of my adorable, little Nano: 8 Ways to Kill Someone with the Nano. I am not making this up. Hell, I could not make this up.

It’s Friday, so don’t give me any backtalk. Go, click the link and learn how to be deadly with your iPod Nano in time for the weekend.

Once again, I’ve agreed to something without realizing it.

Some of my long-time readers and old friends may know that I was a Boy Scout when I was a kid. In fact, I was an Eagle Scout, which is the highest award a boy can earn in Scouting. So was my older brother. We both became Eagles because my father didn’t. Much like going to college, it was just an accepted fact that this was something we were going to do. I don’t think either one of us even stopped to consider an alternative, honestly. Once Dad made up his mind, well, it was just going to happen. It’s a trait his sons learned, too, I’m afraid. Hell, I think his daughters might have picked it up as well. All four of us just tend to drop our heads and charge forward, no matter the odds, once we’ve made up our minds.
In any case, back when I did it, only one out of one-hundred boys in Scouting earned their Eagle. My troop had a slightly higher than normal ratio, but, mostly that percentage proved true. The Eagle Award Ceremony is a fairly big deal in Scouts, in part because of how few boys get it. My brother presented me my Eagle, which was another big deal, both to the Scouts there and my family. I don’t think Dad could have looked prouder. And, I think that event, more than any other, cemented the strange relationship my brother and I have. I admire him not just as a younger brother admires his more accomplished and experienced big brother, but as a man. In many respects, I look up to him as a role-model for the way a modern man should be. Intelligent, caring, concerned with family, loving in his own reserved way, and even funny in a rather unique, cerebral way. My father is from a different era, and I admire him, too, but in an entirely different way. And, I have to admit, there are times that my brother is a hard act to follow. He’s an actual genius, holding a PhD. in Physical Chemistry and responsible for the rewriting of quite a few Chemistry textbooks. Still, he’s my only brother and I love him. And I was extremely honored when he and his wife made me his oldest child’s godfather.

Well, that nephew of mine has finally gotten his Eagle. The award ceremony is coming up Saturday, August 12th. They very much wanted me to be there, but I simply couldn’t afford a ticket and all the other expenses right now. So, my brother bought me a ticket up for the weekend. I’ll be headed up North, home, for the first time in about three years. I certainly appreciated that, but, until Monday night, I couldn’t figure out what the fuss was all about. Then, while on my weekly call to the parental units, my mother enlightened me. Apparently, I’m going to be presenting my godson with his Eagle award! A-ha! Now, finally, the light goes on and I get it. So, I’ll need to get a suit cleaned and my good, white shirts cleaned and pressed. I’m afraid I might even be called on to make a small speech, which terrifies me, but which I’ll handle just fine, as I always seem to do.

Family is a funny thing. I have fought for years not to be a role-model for my nephews. I was so terrified that they’d make all the same mistakes I have and I couldn’t bear that. But, somehow, in fighting to make my own way and in my attempts to teach them not to follow any crazy path I might have taken, I’ve become someone important to them. That mythical, crazy uncle who took off for Texas in ’98. The wild-card. Strangely enough, somehow, the lovable rogue-adventurer who’s out there, somewhere, doing things his own way.
So, for a change, I don’t mind being Shanghaied into a little public speaking and, if I’m lucky, some admiration from a couple of incredible young men.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"If you want others to be happy, practise compassion.
If you want to be happy, practise compassion."
   --The Dalai Lama