Fixer-Upper
No, not my house.
Though, that is a fair way to describe my house right now, I meant me. I’m the dating/relationship equivalent of a “fixer-upper”. Sometimes, I think that’s a good thing, but others… Well, let’s just say that, two years after my divorce, I’m about as open to change as a man can be. Personal change that is. I’m willing to accept that there are some fundamental things wrong with the way I approach relationships and dating and, yes, even sex, and I’m willing to consider alternatives. Oh, I’m sure I could spin that as an asset, but is it? Do you really want to date a “project”?
Think of the possibilities here, ladies. A man who’s willing to be molded, to a certain extent, into a “better” person. Who’s ready for a little “behavior modification”. Willing to listen, really listen, to you tell him what’s wrong with him and suggest solutions. Of course, just listing what’s wrong with me, or us, and not suggesting possible solutions is how I ended up divorced, so that’s something to bear in mind. I don’t do well with people crtisizeing me without adding suggestions. And, change takes time, so patience is a virtue.
Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"May you live all the days of your life."
--Jonathan Swift
I don’t know how honestly you represent yourself in your blog, but I can’t figure out why you are having so much trouble finding someone. At my age, I’m not looking for someone who can play the games long enough to get settled in. I want someone who has enough confidence and integrity to be who he is.
Maybe the problem isn’t who you are, maybe it’s the gals you find yourself attracted to. Are you looking for a mommy? Are you searching for that high school girl who wouldn’t give you the time of day? Or are you looking for a woman who sees you, who loves you, who will add to the quality of your life? Maybe it really is just as hard for you to find a woman with integrity as it has been for me to find a man with integrity? (I thought my problem was living in this rural state full of right wing, ultra conservative, closed minded automatons!)
Don’t change who you are for a girl. Life like that is just a lie, and you won’t like you much. It’s better to be alone.
Comment by Cheri — 10/29/2007 @ 11:17 am
Cheri, it’s not that it’s hard to meet someone, though Houston has been rated as one of the hardest cities for single people to meet someone in. I think, rather, it’s a matter of finding someone that I’m attracted to who also has a low enough drama quotient to be worth the time and energy investment.
Besides, I think part of the problem is me getting out of my shell enough to get past that friend-to-something-more threshold. I get stuck in the loop of being a really good friend to the point that even I can’t see myself being something more.
Comment by the Network Geek — 10/29/2007 @ 1:12 pm