Diary of a Network Geek

No, really. Stop laughing! I’m serious!
Yeah, okay, I put on a tough-guy act a lot of the time, but I’m not. Really, I’m just a big coward. The other day, I got so freaked out about being alone in the house that I loaded up my .357 and put it in the electronic gun safe. (It’s one that I can use a key-code to open in case of emergency.) It’s sitting next to my bed. Right next to the sword. And the knives. Hmmm, I see a theme here. Now, you’d think that a guy who has all those “weapons” is some kind of maniac, right? Nope. He’s a coward.
Why is he a coward? Well, why, in a nice neighborhood where there’s never, ever been any trouble would a brave man need any protection like that? Right, he doesn’t. I have all that stuff because it makes me feel more courageous. More noble, somehow, in spite of how odd that sounds even to me. But, it’s true. I haven’t been in a fight since the Fifth Grade, though I got a little roughed up in my Sophmore year in High School once for running my smart mouth. So, why have I spent so much time learning about self-defence? Why did I take a college course on karate, taught by two somewhat psycho ex-Green Beret ‘Nam vets, no less? Why have I read countless books on hand-to-hand combat and knife-fighting? For pity’s sake, why did I let another ‘Nam vet teach me how to throw knives in the basement garage of the Hyatt Regency Chicago?!?
Simple. I wanted to make my Dad proud of me. My Dad grew up on the South Side of Chicago before and during the Depression. Yeah, he’s that old. I grew up hearing phrases like “It’s not how much dog there is in the fight, it’s how much fight there is in the dog. Be the dog with the most fight.” And, “Being tough is mental, not physical. Be more mentally tough than the next guy and you’ll be okay.” And, I heard stories about my Dad’s time in the Army. Violent stories about bar fights and big guys named “Swede” and “Moose”. Somehow from all that, I got that my Dad wanted me to be tough, not sensitive. And, really, that’s what I am: a sensitive artist. Well, a wanna-be artist, at least.
So, all this time, I’ve been working to be something that I don’t even truly understand. Along the way, I developed some calluses on both my body and my heart. I did get a little tougher, but that happens to everyone. Though, I have to admit that I’m surprised I can go for five minutes on my heavy-bag bare-knuckle, even today. Until this week, I don’t think I’ve hardly touched a punching bag since before I moved down from Chicago. But, those calluses are still there. Sometimes, people don’t understand those calluses. They think that makes me a tough guy, or a dangerous guy, but it doesn’t really. Just a guy who got a little lost and confused while trying to make his Dad proud.

You know what the funny thing is? I never really had to do anything. I thought I had to do something to show my Dad that I was a man, but I didn’t. Dad was always proud of me, even if I am a cream puff.

I drove through the old neighborhood tonight.
Seeing as how I’m from the North suburbs of Chicago, it seems a little odd to me that I even have an old neighborhood in Houston, but I do. I ran down by the Galleria to take care of some errands, and go to a support group that I’ve been attending for the past three years. Traffic was bad on the way down, so I quickly diverted from 290 to 610 North and ran down Ella to T. C. Jester, past the old apartment, neatly avoiding a bunch of construction and an accident. Then, on the way home, they had several entrance ramps blocked off, so I zipped over to Memorial and again drove through the old neighborhood back to 610 and on to 290 and home. Home.
It felt odd driving alone through the old neighborhood, past Cavatore and Northwest Memorial where I passed my kidney stone, then going home to that empty house. I’m all at odds and ends, trying to find myself again. Lost in a city that’s not mine and not able to return to a city that was, but is so different now that it will never be mine again. I’m like a fly trapped in amber. Stuck. No going forward, yet, and no going back, ever. Just stuck. I find myself on the edge of tears, but not quite able to get over the brink and let them flow. Too much to do for me to get weepy and nostalgic now. And over what? Nothing, really. Just a time that, one day, I hope I will look back on and smile. One day.

Okay, the Slashdot effect should be over by now…

Yeah, I saw this on Slashdot, but it’s so good I don’t even feel guilty for putting it up as a Fun Friday link. “It” is Akiyoshi’s Illusion Page. Well, actually, it’s pages. Frankly, I’ve always been blown away by good optical illusions and this page is the best I’ve ever seen. Some of these suckers give me motion sickness!

Anyway, it’s a cool link and it’s Friday, so go check it out!
(This was actually a lost post that I found when I updated my blog to WordPress. Cool, huh?)

Okay, so it occurred to me that I might have lost some subscribers.
That’s why there was a bit of finagling to get to this page for some of you. See, a whole bunch of folks who read this blog use aggregators, of one kind or another, and not all of them may have corrected for the format change. Well, that only occurred to me last night while I was futzing around with other stuff. So, I hurried about and made some changes that should not only let everyone know that I’ve changed things here, but how to get to the “new” site. At least, that’s the idea. In a couple of days, or weeks, I’ll get rid of the index.html page that redirects folks to the main blog. Before that, though, I’ll get rid of all the other faux indexes (indexii ?) which should let all my faithful readers find their way to my new home. (You know who you are!)

Actually, that brings up a point. How many readers do I have here? I have no idea. I average somewhere between 2500 and 3000 hits per day, depending on the measurement tool used, but I only show two subscribers via Bloglines. Now, I know my future-ex-wife watches this blog, even though she seems to have dropped her subscription to it via Bloglines, so that makes three of you. And, allowing for the fact that I probably only have 250 to 300 “unique” visitors per month, according to another reporting tool, that leaves somewhere in the neighborhood of 247 readers, of some kind, unaccounted for running around out there. (See, I not only managed mathmatics, but I didn’t end the sentence with a preposition!) So, where are you all? What are you all doing here? What brought you here? Why do you come back? Inquiring minds want to know! And, I do, too.

I know I should be headed for bed, but…
But, damn, I’ve been having fun with plugins again! Okay, so you’ve noticed that I have fancy-schmancy titles, right? That’s the Title Images 2 plugin by Chris Cogburn. The nifty “posted at blah-blah-blah” thing is the Time of Day plugin. The GoogleAds are served up by the Moose Candy plugin. (You’ll have to go read up on the plugin to see why it’s called that!) And, behind the scenes, we have the Auto Shutoff Comments plugin, obviously, closing comments over a certain age. (I’ll let the spammers try and figure out how far back I go!)

I’ve also been working on my own plugins. Notably the Full Moon plugin, the Chinese Zodiac plugin and the Forgotten Realms Date plugin. These three aren’t quite ready for production, yet, but they will be soon! The Full Moon plugin is already running on this site, as you can see. (I tried to get it working for b2evolution, but their documentation just isn’t as clear as WordPress’ is. Oh, well…) Trust me, when these bad boys are ready for public consumption, I’ll post about them here.

Of WordPress, that is.
I can’t tell you how much I love this new blogging system. Well, okay, not new, but new to me. Not only is the interface much cleaner than MovableType, but I don’t need to do anything special or funky to make posts happen in the future! Yea! Also, developing for WP has seemed easier than it was for MT. (For instance, I did the nifty MoonPhase dealie that tells you what phase the moon is in for each posting. Not to mention the moon over in the margin.) And, it seems like there are more people developing cooler things for WP. Take the way cool titles, for instance. Notice how they look all OCR-like? That’s a plugin!
Also, I like being able to directly edit posts. That way, when I find a misspelling, which I often do, I can quickly correct it without too much fuss.
But, by far the best thing, to me, is the comment moderation system. This is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Why? Because when some naughty person, or bot, posts something I find objectionable, it doesn’t automatically hit the blog! It has to be approved before it gets posted. So, I can look at it, think about it and approve it, if I want. Or, delete it, if that’s my choice. Or, even save it for later when I’m bored and need a quick pick-me-up.

Could this be a viable business?
Okay, first, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not talking about prostitution! See, I’ve been sick the past couple of days and it would have been nice to have someone to make me soup and worry about me a bit. You know, someone to baby me the way a significant other is supposed to do. (Not that they do all the time, but, you know, in theory.) Maybe someone to help you clean up while you’re sick, too. Short term only, mind. Nothing longer than, say, a month.
Oh, and it would be perfect for that gay friend who’s family just won’t accept them as gay, or wouldn’t understand, or whatever. You could rent them a girlfriend for the holidays and spread a little faux Christmas cheer.

Somehow, I know this would backfire, but, yesterday, in my cold-medicine-induced surreality, it seemed like a good idea. We now return you to your regularly scheduled internet insanity.

Yes, that’s right, Jim has left the building.
It’s pretty rare that I get so sick I go home early or miss work, but after staring at my screen for the fourth or fifth time and not being able to remember what I was doing, I decided today was one of those days.

Now, I’m going to go take more medicine and have a nap.

I’ve changed over to using WordPress, now, too. I’m still trying to work out some of the “bugs” on the new version of the blog, but I’m getting there!

for the New Year.

Okay, so I’ve made a few changes to the blog here. First off, you should notice a few changes to the categories. I’ll let you, Faithful Readers, figure out which was what all on your own. Hey, that’s half the fun, right?
So, why the changes? Well, I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately and, based on that, decided that I needed jazzier, more “fun” category titles. So, in the blink of an electron gun, I have new category titles. I’ll leave it to you to decide if they’re more fun.
Also, I’ve added one: Advice from your Uncle Jim. (That’s me, BTW. My name is Jim, in case you hadn’t caught that already.) Every once in a while, I have some generic advice that I think you might be able to use, like, “When in doubt, talk to your lawyer” and “Don’t cheat on your taxes. The IRS likes to fine idiots who do that and get caught”, and I like to share that with you. So, new categories for the new year.

It’s gonna’ be a bigun’!

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety."
   --Issac Asimov