Inch By Inch
I threw out six more bags of junk this weekend.
Six bags of old makeup and burnt out curling irons and makeup and old perfume samplers and makeup. I have never seen so much old, useless, half-used makeup in my entire life. I imagine that must be what it looks like when a cosmetic department gets a stomach virus and vomits pastel and earth-tone pencils, powders, tubes and brushes. Dozens upon dozens of lipsticks alone… I felt like I’d been rummaging through a drag queen’s refuse. Oh, and, of course, I found even more shoes! But, I regained another few cubic inches of my house. Little by little, sometimes in volumes so small as to be barely noticeable, I’m regaining my house, my home, myself.
I also worked outside for a few hours this weekend. Raking some of the dead, matted grass in part of my back yard and seeding the front where I let so much grass die that the neighbors asked about it. Mainly, last year, I was just so depressed that I didn’t care, so lots of plants died in my yard. Now, though, as I come back to life, so does the greenery around me. I still have a lot more to do, of course, but, it’s started turning around.
It’s funny, but this all seemed so overwhelming not too long ago, but, then, something changed. Something inside me shifted, adjusted, rearranged and I felt motivated, almost required, to start moving on this stuff. As a friend says, change is inevitable, but my direction is optional. So, I just started in on it, working a little at a time, until there’s enough change that I feel better about, well, about everything. I try to remind myself that I don’t need to change everything at once, though I still try to do that. As my mother would say, “Inch by inch, life a cinch. Mile by mile, life’s a trial.” So, inch by inch, I’m reinventing myself and gaining my life back.
Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
Why did she leave all of her stuff with you? My ex made sure he got all of his, and some of mine too. It just seems strange. Maybe she was a shopaholic?
Comment by cheri — 3/6/2006 @ 10:10 am
That’s a very good question, Cheri. I have no idea why she did it, except, of course, so it would seem like she had to run and abandon everything just to get away from the terrible person who had been “opressing” her all those years. (Yes, that’s how she characterized me and, no, I am NOT exagerating at all.) Besides, why take the old when her sugar daddy could afford to buy her new? Either way, it’s a real cleansing process to purge my house, one room at a time, of her junk.
Comment by the Network Geek — 3/6/2006 @ 10:15 am
Good for you. That’s the best thing you can do for youself.
Comment by Sweet Reagan — 3/6/2006 @ 1:39 pm
You know, Rea, my goal is to clean my house out and decorate so that I can entertain friends. I love doing that, but rarely got the chance. In fact, one thing I’d love to do is have as many of my “blog friends” and their SOs over as I can manage at once. A chance for everyone to meet each other. It’d be neat, don’t you think?
Comment by the Network Geek — 3/6/2006 @ 1:44 pm
Good on you! My ex threw away my stuff while I was still living with him. That sort of sucked.
Comment by aka_monty — 3/6/2006 @ 4:53 pm
That would be very neat Jim. I’ll bring an appetizer I mean, if I’m uh invited, I’ll bring an appetizer. Yes?
Comment by Deirdre — 3/6/2006 @ 5:04 pm
aka_Monty, first, that’s a crappy thing to do. Though, I have to admit, it would have been easier if I’d gotten her to throw some things away now and then instead of being a terrible packrat. I have Wired magazines going back for years because she “might want to read them sometime”. Second, I did give her full opportunity to come get this junk that she claimed she wanted in the divorce settlement. She’s the one who left it. Honestly, I would have been just as pleased to give it to her!
D., if you come from the Frozen North, you just bring yourself and your hubby. Don’t even worry about the food. And, of course you’d be invited, silly!
Comment by the Network Geek — 3/6/2006 @ 5:10 pm
I’m down!
Comment by Sweet Reagan — 3/7/2006 @ 2:42 pm
The party sounds like fun! I have to say, I think you got lucky getting away from her. Leaving her stuff sounds awfully passive aggressive on her part. Hilda is so lucky to have been kept by you! No one here is throwing tacos, or anything else, my way. Yes, I’m pouting.
Comment by Cheri — 3/7/2006 @ 9:46 pm
Yes, Cheri, yes, I did get very lucky that she left. I couldn’t have left her. I made up my mind to stay through to the end, for a lot of complicated reasons, but, mainly because I’d married the loon and that’s what that committment meant to me. I would have worked at that stupid marriage until it killed me. Very lucky she left, indeed.
And, yes, I think my Hilda lucked out, too. I spoil her every chance I get. Might spoil you some, too, if you were closer to Houston. Travel much? 😉
Comment by the Network Geek — 3/7/2006 @ 9:51 pm
One can never tell where this life might lead. Houston just might be on my post-parental list of sights to see! 😉
Comment by Cheri — 3/7/2006 @ 10:41 pm
Well, Cheri, I have been thinking about converting Hoffman’s Home for Wayward Boys into Hoffman’s Home for Unwed Mothers. I think I need a license for that in Texas, though.
But, seriously, I hope you and D. and Sweet Reagan would be available later this Summer for that party. Maybe some more of the local folks, too. I’ve thought it would be fun to meet Mark and Orion and some of the regular geeks from the older days, too. I mean, this blog has been around for a long time in Internet time, so, there are a lot of readers, regular and otherwise, out there!
Comment by the Network Geek — 3/8/2006 @ 4:54 pm
It’ll happen Jim. It has too. It’s such a fantastic idea.
Comment by Deirdre — 3/9/2006 @ 9:36 pm