Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.


Tenatively Done with Chemo

Filed under: Deep Thoughts,Life, the Universe, and Everything,News and Current Events,Personal — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Dog which is in the evening time or 9:27 pm for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Well, I survived the treatment.

At least, so far.  I’ll go back for a full day of scanning on August 17th to see just how well I’ve done, but my oncologist kept referring to this as my last chemo treatment.  I hope so, because this one was kind of bad in some ways.  I got sick, as in blew chunks, three times over two days.  And, let me tell you, that last time it was all miracle puke, because there couldn’t have been anything left in my stomaches to get out, so where it all came from is beyond me.  Well, they’ve given me an extra medication to deal with the delayed nausea and vomiting, so we’ll see how that does.  And, hopefully, this will be the last time I have to go in for chemotherapy.

But, in many ways, it’s not over and never will be.  Lymphoma, the kind of cancer I had(have?), never quite goes away.  Rather, like leukemia, it simply goes into remission.  So, there will need to be some lifestyle changes.  Thankfully, changes that I’d already started to make and now just need to follow through on.  Things like eating healthier and exercising more.  Regular checkups.  That kind of thing.
But, also, I need to work on my spiritual life more. This last week, I’ve been thinking about the long chain of “coincidences” that brought me to this place. Back in ’98 when I moved down here, I didn’t do it because Houston was the best place to have cancer! No, I moved for my ex-wife. And, when that marriage was breaking apart, my first thought wasn’t, “Well, at least when I get cancer, I won’t have to worry about her falling apart under pressure”, since that is her pattern. My only thought was trying to survive the pain of her betrayal, which, sadly, is also her pattern. When I was forced to change jobs and I landed where I am, I certainly was not thinking that these folks would be so supportive of me and my health issues. Again, I was just trying to keep my head above water. But, in the end, it all worked out. It sure didn’t feel like everything was going according to some grand plan at the time, but, looking back, it sure seems like it was someone’s plan all along.

Now, the thing that gets under my skin, is why? What am I supposed to be doing? What is my life’s purpose? Why I was pulled back, almost literally from the brink of death to keep on? What is His plan for my life? How is that I am to be useful to Him? Well, I don’t know yet, but, along with other things I need to work out in this next phase of my life, answering that question is fairly paramount in importance.
But, that will come in time. As will, I hope, my hair, my eyebrows, and the freedom to drink coffee again. Honestly, I’m not sure which I miss more, coffee or my eyebrows.

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