Diary of a Network Geek

Okay, okay, the pressure of regular posting is weighing on me today!

Right, so you regular readers may have noticed that there was nothing new this morning. There will be later this week, but I just wasn’t feeling well last night and I was tired, and a little crabby, so I just didn’t queue up something for this morning. Honestly? I think I may have gotten tainted peanut butter. I don’t know what salmonella tastes like, but I’ve been queasy since yesterday at lunch when I had some. And, frankly, that strikes me as too much of a coincidence to not be somehow related to the latest public health scare. Oh, well, at least I’ll probably end up losing a few pounds!

So, more and better posting tomorrow, I promise.

Aftermath03
Originally uploaded by Network Geek

I should give you all a little update on the barely controlled chaos that was Thanksgiving Day at my house.

First of all, the turkey done on the grill turned out wonderfully well, much to the surprise of many, if not most, of my guests. And, yes, to be perfectly honest, I was a little concerned myself. Thankfully, we all worried needlessly, because it was great.

Secondly, I had to use trickery, threats and bribery to get rid of all the pie! I mean, I was sort of under the impression that several people were coming after the main meal for a bit of pie, but that turned out to be code for “don’t think we’re going to make it”. Sadly, however, I planned for their arrival, being the slightly cynical optimist that I am, and encouraged everyone to bring pie if they were at a loss for something to contribute. I had at least seven pies there, I think. Roughly one-half of a pie per person. Slight over-kill. So, you know, it ran rather like most of my plans, such as they are. But, I always say, I’d rather have too much than too little, so there you are.

The only thing that I didn’t like was that some of my favorite people weren’t able to make it. I know that they mostly had other family places to be that were more, um, appropriate for them to attend. But, well, I’ll just flat out say it, I’m jealous and petty and selfish and I wanted these people to be near me making me happy. It’s who I am. I missed them being there, even though the crowd I did have was wonderful, as the pictures of the event show. And, we did, I think, have a wonderful time. I know I had a far better Thanksgiving than I’ve had in years.

Some of you may recall me hunting about for music and finding some. Well, the music was quite well received, though my final playlist had to work around several corrupted files and a noticeable lack of several artists. I was actually quite surprised to see who showed interest in the music and who was interested in my art, too. I mean, the art I own, not the art I fumble around making. My Mark Flood was, predictably, quite popular and the topic of much conversation.

So, all in all, even with a few things noticeably lacking, it was a very good day. In fact, it may just inspire me to keep the house clean and start those mythical monthly movie nights.
Well, I guess, we’ll see about that.

I’m so behind, I think I’m catching up to myself!

Thanksgiving fast approaches and my house is mostly clean. Now, by “mostly clean” I think it’s important to understand what I mean. I mean that I’ve vacuumed for the first time in two years. I mean, my bathroom is so clean that a woman might actually feel safe using it! Hey, what do you want from me? It’s been two years since I’ve been in a relationship and half that time I was in the hospital slow dancing with death, so, there really hasn’t been any point in having the place clean. Now, there is, so, well, it is. Well, mostly. My office still needs work and the bedroom can always use more cleaning and the upstairs… Well, the less said about the upstairs, the better right now.

The important thing, though, is that my kitchen is clean. And, just barely in time to start baking pies tonight. Yes, pies, as in plural. With so many people coming over after their main Thanksgiving plans, I figured a few extra pies can’t hurt. I might try to get to bed early, too. If the pies don’t take too long. See, I’ve been up until the wee hours for the past several nights in a row getting ready. So, I’m getting a little short on sleep. And, I still need to whip up a playlist for background music. After all, all the running around I did Sunday to get it and rip it won’t do me any good if I can’t get it playing!
Of course, I’ll probably end up staying up late again tonight then trying to catch a nap after I start the turkey in the morning. It just seems like I’ve totally under-estimated my time on just about everything this year. It’s just taken so much longer than I expected to get everything done. Witness the fact that this post is popping up here so late! I normally have Wednesday’s post queued up Tuesday evening before I go to bed, so this is amazingly late for me. It’s also why this post probably seems a little disjointed. Of course, that may be the lack of time and sleep, too.

Oh, and for those of you who love “food porn”, know that I’ll be taking pictures of people and food tomorrow. Naturally, I’ll post the pictures to my Flickr account, so keep an eye out if you’re interested. But, if you are going to be making your own “food porn” this holiday, here is a link to some Food Photography Tips and Techniques. Enjoy and have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!

Now is the time, gentle readers, to help your Uncle Jim out.

So, Thanksgiving is at my house this year. Maybe this will be the start of a new tradition, who knows? In any case, this year, I’m bringing the joy of the season to my house. Only, now, I have a small problem. Outside of making the turkey, which is frightening enough, I don’t have any simple, traditional, passed-down-from-grandma recipes that are easy enough for me to do. So, give me yours.

No, seriously. Look, I’ve invited a lot of people and, while I’ve gotten some polite refusals from some of them, many more have either said yes, or are waiting until the last minute to confirm. What’s more is that I’ve told several of them not to worry about bringing anything, lest that hold them back from coming. All of which means, I have an unknown number of people coming, some of whom aren’t bringing anything and may show up at the last minute. And, now, I sort of feel obliged to, you know, feed them and stuff. Except, I’m a fairly inept cook. Truly. So, I need your help. Kat has already sent me a brilliant and easy corn pudding recipe, which I’ll share in just a minute, but I need more. I especially need a good, simple, but interesting stuffing recipe. Most of you have my e-mail, so if you want to share privately, you can, otherwise, just leave them in the comments. At some point, I’ll collect them all and share them, and let you know which ones I actually try.

So, while you ponder that, here’s Kat’s Best-Friend’s Cousin’s Corn Pudding:
Fold in this order: 1 can drained corn, 1 can creamed corn, 1 stick melted butter, 8 oz. sour cream, 1 box jiffy corn mix. Bake at 325 for an hour to an hour and a half (should be the consistency of pudding in the middle). You can also add shredded cheese and jalapeno if you like.

Now, Kat knows me well, so she’s got a handle on the “keep is simple for the kitchen dunce” vibe that I need. Let that be your model and your guide.
Help me cook to fill stomachs, hearts and souls with warmth and joy.
But, keep it simple.

So, I’ve come up with the perfect antidote to my holiday blues.

I’m having Thanksgiving at my house this year.
Here’s a copy of what I sent out to some of my usual suspects:

“Okay, so J. was supposed to do this, but, I want to make sure you all get invites before someone else snatches you all away.
As you all should know by now, the traditional J&L Married-Name Thanksgiving (formerly the traditional J&L Not Married Thanksgiving) has made a break for freedom and is going to be at my house this year. I told J. to invite all the people he’d normally invite, but he’s still working out his issues with his guest list and the fact that I’m insisting that it’s really okay for him to invite his entire family. So, I’m not going to wait for him.

Y’all come to my house for Thanksgiving.
I’ll have turkey and maybe something more, so if you want anything else, bring it! Especially if there’s something that makes Thanksgiving happen for you, bring that. Also, if there’s someone, or even several someones, that make the holiday happen for you, bring them, whether they’re family or not. If you can think of anyone I missed on this list, too, that seems like fun, forward this on to them. If you can, please, give me a count at least a couple of days before so I can plan to have enough turkey and whatever so no one goes away hungry. Oh, and if you have folding chairs, bring them, too.

I’m warning you now, even though I’m cleaning, my house will be a wreck. I’m a total bachelor and it shows. The only woman that’s seen the inside of my house in six months or more is my dog, so you’ve been warned.

Hope you all can make it, even though I know you may have other plans, family, or some other lame excuse to blow me off.

Thanks,
Jim

P.S. So you can find the place, here’s a map”

Then, because I left part out, I sent this:

“Right, so, for those of you not attuned to my psychic abilities to broadcast thoughts, I thought I’d actually mention when to come for dinner this time. I was figuring on 2:30pm being ‘Turkey Time’, but don’t hesitate to come over early to escape your family, if you feel so moved. By the same token, I’m sure there will be plenty of food, so come by later than you think you should if you have obligations you can’t duck but still want to bask in the warm glow of knowing your house is cleaner than mine.”

And, yes, I am cleaning and yes, my house will still be a wreck, but at least it’ll be good enough that I won’t be too embarrassed to have people over.  Besides, most of them know what my past couple of years have been like so they know why cleaning is pretty low on my priority list.  And, frankly, anyone who doesn’t like it can hit the bricks!

I’m actually planning to do a turkey in the oven and a ham on the grill and, possibly, either some beer bread or sweet potato pie.  My beer bread is always a hit and I have a recipe for sweet potato pie that uses canned sweet potatoes that I’ve been meaning to try.  Who knows, maybe I’ll impress someone with my domestic skills.  My ex-wife did always say that I’d make someone a wonderful wife one day.  Maybe someone will show up, one way or another, who needs a little extra tender loving care, just like I did the year my ex-wife left.  That’s really why I’m doing this.  Because the holidays can be rough and someone helped me through the roughest of holiday seasons, so maybe now, I can return the favor.

Brain Hemorrhage Anyone?

Originally uploaded by TangoPango

Looking for some last minute ideas for your Halloween party?

Why not try some really nasty looking cocktails?
Tonight is Halloween, but it’s not too late to whip up a bit of last minute fun for the grown-ups. Well, the mostly grown-ups.
The drink pictured is called the Brain Hemorrhage and, as noted, the picture was taken by TangoPango. It’s just one of many gruesome-looking, but tasty-sounding, horror-themed drinks you can find via Dabbled. (I found them via BoingBoing who apparently found them via Craft.)

I hope you’ve enjoyed my Halloween themed Friday Fun links this month. Keep coming back for more strange stuff on Fridays.
Boo.

I love single-malt Scotch.

I don’t drink very much these days, due partly to age and partly to getting broken of it during chemotherapy. But, I still like a good single-malt Scotch now and again. Apparently, I’m not the only one. According to an article that ran on Wired’s Danger Room blog, there’s a particular distiller that noticed their webcams getting a lot of traffic from the Pentagon. After a discreet inquiry, it turns out that the distilling process they use, and, one presumes, the equipment, is very much like a process used to refine weapons of mass destruction. What was happening is that trainers were using these webcams to train weapons inspectors! Whiskey as a training aid! Yea for government work!
And, apparently, in honor of that, the fine folks at the Bruichladdich Distillery made a “WMD – The Inspectors” whiskey. Sadly, this seems to be a collector’s item and, in the States, you have to settle for “WMD II The Yellow Submarine 1991 “, which can be found about halfway down this page.

No word on how good, smooth, etc. it is at all. Or, if there’s a government discount!

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned."
   --Peter Marshall

BreakfastTheMorningAfter2

Originally uploaded by Network Geek

Well, I survived Hurricane Ike, so far.

I’ve been without power since Friday night and we’ve been on an order to boil water since Saturday night, but the house took no damage that I can see. The car port and the covered porch lost their corrugated fiberglass roofing, but are otherwise intact. The back fence is 2/3 gone, not to mention one of the smaller myrtle trees, but otherwise things are good. I’ve been cooking things as they thaw, which means I’ve eaten more meat in the past three days than I’d normally eat in a week, but at least I haven’t wasted too much food that way. Oh, and my dog, Hilda, has been eating like a queen! She thinks sausage for breakfast is fabulous! And, as I’ve mentioned before, I can face just about anything if I have a good cup of coffee in the morning, so my camp coffee pot has been working out really, really well.

Work is open and has power and phones. In fact, that’s where I’m writing this entry. And, if you click the link, it’ll take you to my Flickr photostream and you all can see the pictures I’ve uploaded so far. I know this may not be a priority for many people, but, well, I wanted to let folks outside of Houston know what’s going on.
So far, we’re surviving. I’ll be happier when I get electricity again and can restock my frozen foods. I’m afraid I’m going to have a lot to throw out when I get home from work later. So much has gone bad or is too iffy to be trusted right now. But, I’ll tell you what, Houston is a can do city so I’m sure it won’t be long before we’re up and rolling again.

In any case, I’ve survived. Hilda and I are doing well, so far. We’ve a ways to go, but we’ll get there, and we’ll get there faster than the tragedy that was New Orleans after Katrina, too.
There’ll be more later, but, for right now, I’ve got to get back to work!

I love lists!

No, really, I love making lists. Lists help me make sure that I’m not missing anything, whether it’s an important step in a process or an essential ingredient for dinner. Now, I’m trying to be healthy, so I make a grocery list before I got shopping for two reasons. First, I’m copying from the Men’s Health Grocery List, which is all healthy. Second, it helps keep me from allowing binge items into my cart. If I can stick to the list, I can keep the super-yummy cupcakes with that wonderful whipped-lard frosting out of my pantry when I’m feeling lonely, which somehow translates to being hungry. Sorry, I got a little distracted there.

So, as I was writing, I love lists, in particular lately, grocery lists. Naturally, I was excited when I saw the SmarterFitter Blog Grocery List Template for Healthy People. It’s available in both PDF and Excel format and covers most everything. Well, everything except meat. You’ll have to add that in yourself, but everything else is mostly covered in this fairly comprehensive grocery list template. And, if you grab the Excel version, it’s very easily customized to fit your personal habits and preferences.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"When you handle yourself, use your head; when you handle other, use your heart."
   --Donna Reed

I got this in a regular e-mail newsletter.

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study by the American Medical Association found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

This thought brought to you by McGonigel’s Mucky Duck newsletter.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"Whatever the majority of people is doing, under any given circumstances, if you do the exact opposite, you will probably never make another mistake as long as you live."
   --Earl Nightingale